#i probably misinterpreted number 10 sorry

[borom1r]

1-25 choose violence ask game ❤️

ALL OF THEM?????? you’re so real for this ty snfnsnbfns. doing LotR bc of course I am

1. the character everyone gets wrong

PIPPIN I HATE TO SAY IT BUT PIPPIN. all those incorrect quote polls that have been posted where pippin keeps fucking winning YALL REALIZE HES AN ACTUAL CHARACTER RIGHT?? with like depth?? and bonds?? and a personality. yall realize that right?????? right??? ik we all love 2 joke but he would not say half of those things

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

ok I personally enjoy both for Boromir BUT if he IS topping. he is a service top. I will die on this hill

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

I block ppl for these takes so no screenshots but everyone who thinks Boromir is a villain. if you think Boromir is a villain I will key your car.

4. what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

there is one singular straw and it is bad Boromir takes in the Boromir tag

5. worst discord server and why

I don’t join fandom discord servers bc I love myself too much for that 💗

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

ummm idk? most of my lotr mutuals have different ships from me and it’s all chill. but tbf I’m very selective abt who I interact with now lmao.

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

no one yet thank fuck.

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

Aragorn/Arwen isn’t actually romantic sorry I think it’s fucked up actually. the vibes are off there for SURE

9. worst part of canon

FARAMIR’S “yeah I’m gonna take you from your home and tame you. haha wdym. you don’t need a blade during times of peace.” SHTICK WITH ÉOWYN IN THE BOOKS. UNPACK YOUR BIASES YOU LITTLE FREAK!!!!!!!!

10. worst part of fanon

HM. I will stick with “people who horrifically misinterpret Boromir’s character”

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered

at the moment I only have rings of power blocked but I’ve had that blocked since it came out bc if I look at the armor in that show I will commit crimes.

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

MOVIE!FARAMIR MY SPECIALEST LITTLE GUY OOOOOOOOOO MOVIE!FARAMIR I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUU he’s so handsome and special and I love him and you WILL all look at him and clap and cheer. it makes me insane that his temptation by the ring mirror’s Boromir’s and he’s actually fucking normal abt the Rohirrim AND I just love him very much :)

13. worst blorboficiation

ummm idk… maybe Frodo

14. that one thing you see in fics all the time

HMMM exposing myself but I basically only read Aragorn/Boromir fics lmao + since we’re Choosing Violence the most annoying thing is Boromir just being A Brute. like damn I love the surface level reading of the text maybe try engaging with it above a 1st grade analysis next time 💗

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

hmmmmm idk cuz again I don’t interact w a lot of fanartists so there’s nothing like. annoying. all th ✨motifs✨ I do see r very fun + I like them :)

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

ummm for Serious, portraying Pippin as Stupid. for Silly, uhhhh Trans Faramir is so real to me I completely forgot cis people both 1) exist in the real world and 2) probably interpret Fara as cis too. i don’t get it :(

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

trans Faramir 🩵💗🤍

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

HM idk. trans Faramir again. also bc I love it, utilizing Old Norse culture for the Rohirrim teehee

19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

OK IM MAD THAT FINNISH BOROMIR IS JUST ME. THATS ME. THATS AN OUTFIT I WEAR REGULARLY MINUS THE LONG HAIR. I DRESS LIKE THAT TO BUY GROCERIES. i love him for that tho. I’m also mad that MtG Boromir’s stupid pointy muttonchops have grown on me. freak behavior, keeping his facial hair trimmed in those stupid little points

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring

I’m fighting for my life reading the histories rn 😑 I find them very dry for the most part

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

idk? I think there is an appropriate level of hype. but idk if Rings of Power had a lot of hype. if it did, then Rings of Power is my answer

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

idk if it’s IGNORED necessarily but the fact that Boromir carries a Rohirric shield in the films does actually genuinely make me insane 💞 I love that sm

23. ship you've unwillingly come around to

UNWILLINGLY?????? idk?? ummmm I think it’s all fine for the most part I’m just A Fag so I don’t write het ships. it’s like a moral thing. Éowyn/Faramir gets a pass conceptually bc they’re T4T to me tho

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

idkkkkkkk I don’t engage w discourse bc I want this fandom to remain pleasanttttt

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

again idk.. I block on sight if I see a Bad Take + then I erase it from my memory so I can continue to live in a beautiful blissful world where I. forgor abt cis people ☺️

[mansplainmanipulatemalewife]

so many numberz sorry 😁😁😁😁 5, 9, 10 and 12 for choose violence please

(Questions)

5. Worst discord server and why?

I've not joined, personally, but everything I've heard about revwest has been extremely unflattering, both in terms of moderation and the general atmosphere/culture <3

9. Worst part of cannon?

I find video games stressful anyway, and playing a character where I absolutely do not have the option to behave in ways I find comfortable (eg. Being sure never to leverage power over other people, actively putting effort into not making people uncomfortable instead of just saying the first thing that comes to mind) means that I find playing the game itself not entirely worth the stress. I understand why it's done like that, because like if Harry wasn't the way he is the story would be extremely different, but it does mean my interactions with cannon are usually limited to watching an obscene number of playthroughs and attempting to know the entirety of fayde from memory.

Also the whole sorry cop thing annoys me slightly because I do apologise quite a lot but the game completely misinterprets my intentions when I do. It's pretty much never a self-flagellating thing, it's just an acknowledgement of "yeah I fucked up on that one, my bad". It just serves to validate the other person's feelings and acknowledge my own culpability so that I can remember not to do it again and so that the conversation can continue without any underlying bad feelings. It's a formality more than anything.

Neither of those are really problems with cannon (which I am probably not the most qualified person to explain) but like... little things that annoy me personally even though I'm objectively wrong because I'm a petty little gremlin.

10. Worst part of fannon?

Not enough trant <3

(Serious answer here)

12. The unpopular character you actually like and why more people should like them.

Fucked up (compelling!)

Autism™️

Shares Harry's history of divorce and substance abuse, but recovered due to better access to support and resources, serving as a mirror to demonstrate how poverty sustains addiction and mental illness

Rambles when he’s nervous 🥺

Evil (hangs out with cops, carries a gun for no reason)

Evil (probably way too enthusiastic about murders)

Evil (white liberal)

[mashedcontroller]

So, I'm atheist but grew up Christian and did the church thing very questionably as a kid. Wanna hear funny stories?

So, I think the church was trying to get us to do the praying thing, and they described it as some sort of communication with God or something. So, I'm like, "well, God probably has better things to do than listen to whatever I say. Like, big world, don't wanna spam ping God." So, I pray once to something to the effect of "Church wanted me to do this sorry for wasting your time bye." and never prayed again.

I may have misunderstood what "hell" was supposed to be. If sinners go to hell, and every tiny misdeed or nasty thought is a sin, and you can't unsin, then everyone goes to hell, no? And if that's the case, hell probably wouldn't look that different from the real world because humans can live anywhere. And you'd be looking at infinite people with infinite time to create a livable reality. Which is a long way of saying "yeah sure I'll play along because I don't want trouble with the adults here, but I'm pretty sure the afterlife is just New York but, like, Red. And no one can disprove me because, like, no one in this room has died."

I'm also pretty sure the Noah's Arc story got across to me wrong. Like, how I understood it was that God told Noah that the flood would only last, like, a week, but then God forgot for several months while everyone was just starving in the middle of the ocean. That's very irresponsible of him :/. Probably not the intended take away.

So, y'know those bots that just say words you type? So, the church had some computers that they had the kids use to make computer Jesus quote random Bible quotes. When we were done there was some extra time to do whatever, so i start keyboard slamming to make Jesus say random letters. Someone stops me because "what if you accidentally make Jesus say a swear word?" So, I'm like, "ok, fair enough." Then I have Jesus Loudly shout random numbers.

At some point, with my parents around, i told a priest "I believe in Jesus and Santa Claus, but not God." I wanna know what went through that man's head when a tiny child went up to him and said that.

I'm pretty sure I misinterpreted that one story about the guy who was about to yeet his toddler of a cliff as God pulling le epic prank. Terrible taste in humor, but, yknow, I'm not here to judge.

I'm pretty sure I had a conversation along the lines of "Who wrote the bible?" "God." (Internally) "No he fucking didn't." God may have allegedly created reality, but he is Not a published author.

I'm pretty sure my relationship to the concept of God was "I'll just mind my own business and not worry about it." Since, like, sucking up to God feels like it would be cheating at this whole "good person" thing. Like, isn't doing good just to please Sky Guy a type of lying? Or at least extremely disingenuous?

But yeah, these were kinda just random thoughts and stories I had when I was, like, 5-10 or something. And i think it's funny looking back on them now. Because, like, I am the type to disagree with someone and just not say anything about it. So, me getting it in my head that praying is a sin actually, is very funny since it never got voiced, but, like, imagine if it did. That would've been hilarious to watch ngl.

[shweshishweh]

3 and 10!

10. name a dog

hmm like a breed? german shepherd, I really want a pretty and loyal boy... idk what the heck I’d name it though, id have to see him first

tho currently i have a girl named Jersey, she’s my precious old lady and i really miss her right now

3. rant. just do it

Ahh the one day I don’t have anything to rant about, uhh, I guess I’m wearing my water polo jacket so I’ll run with that.  Put under read more bc it actually is long and incomprehensible lol

I feel like I missed a whole other world because I joined the wapo team too late, I was only able to play for two years but I feel like I missed out because I was on swim team most of my life but most of the team was also in wapo and they liked it more, but i didn’t really pay attention because I could only focus on one thing at a time, and I didn’t think i would be good in a team bc I didnt feel like i fit in.  But later in hs the coach and team pretty much peer pressured me into joining and it was embarassing tbh, bc im the self conscious type that makes themselves looks scrawny and meek and lemme tell you, wapo is not a sport where you are meek.  You gotta be agressive, wapo is an aggressive sport (but its fun, its kinda like when you’re 5 years old and wrestling with your brothers).  Like sometimes I would even make my other teammates frustrated and mad because i wouldn’t touch them and it made me feel so bad ugh.... I wish I could have just let go of my anxiety and let loose bc i feel like I could have had so much fun, i feel like i had potential even, like i had a decent arm and could swim head up pretty well, and I was pretty good with dry land, and i could have been closer with the team... i think what made that clearest to me, is there was one game in my last year where I just went “screw it” and at one point i stole the ball(!!!!!) and dribbled it right to the goal and made a clear shot and then the rest of my team went nuts and all swam over and jumped up and down and tackled and hugged me because the really insecure girl made her first shot, and i had tears in my eyes, and it felt like the climax of those inspirational sports movies, or like a sports anime, and thats one of my best memories ever, I never felt so accomplished and it made me want to do many more years with the team, and the sport, but I can’t

when we wrapped everything up at the end it hammered it home too, the team sacrificed so much for me and cheered me on, they stuck with me even when I was being stubborn, and they wanted me to get into it.  But i never really did.  that made me want to quit, but it also made it so hard to quit, and now despite everything im so glad i didn’t.  and the coach would always say after every practice that he was glad I came and the girls told me once that they asked him why he said that to me and no one else and he said, “I know you know that, but she doesn’t” and even though i dont think hes even that great a person sometimes that was really sweet.  And i didn’t even realize they felt that way really

I dunno, this turned out a huge mess of thoughts but in conclusion, water polo is an awesome sport that I could talk way more about tbh, and I wish I had joined sooner and im really sad i don’t really have a way to play it anymore.  and thank you to all my teammates who helped me and didnt give up on me :’)

[rendevousz]

freak

avengers x teen!fem!reader

summary: you get captured during a mission and the team saves you.

warnings: language, violence, brief misogyny, torture, **NO sexual assault (because as i was proofreading, i only implied most of the torture scenes because i didn't want to write it in graphic detail and i realised the vague wordings might be misinterpreted as sexual assault which IT IS NOT, just clearing it up), and also again, my inability to write good endings

word count: 4589

notes: i just rewatched iron man 2 so that explains justin hammer LMAO also ooc justin hammer because even tho mans evil, he gets extremely um.. cruel here but anyways i hope you enjoy this!!

you were 13 when you first met the avengers and 16 when you officially joined. you grew up as one of HYDRA's experimented children and the team had found you when they raided the base that you were in.

a small, sickly-looking kid you were, sat against your cell wall, hugging your knees. 13 but you could probably pass off as a 10 year old due to how malnourished and miserable you were. burying your head in between your knees, you covered your ears as the loud gunshot noises filled the whole place. the metal door of your cell slamming open against the wall had you whimpering, hands above your head in fear.

every time the door slammed open, guards would come drag you out for more experiments so it was an instinct for you to cower in fear at the sound.

"last room in the west hall, i found a little girl."

you heard nothing because you were covering your ears, preparing yourself to be forcefully dragged by the guards to the experiment room. but it never came.

"hey," a soft voice called. you were violently shaking at this point, breathing heavily as you tried to calm down. "hey, it's okay." the voice called out again and you felt them touch your shoulders.

your head immediately jolted up, flinching away from the stranger's touch. your eyes met a blue pair as you backed away into the corner in fear. "i'm sorry! i'm sorry, i didn't mean to." the man apologised. you slowly looked up at him, observing him. he had on a full black outfit, a quiver of arrows slinging on his shoulder and he was holding onto a bow.

"don't be scared. i'm here to help," he states with his hands out, as if to calm you down. "that's what they all say." you hissed through gritted teeth and a tear-stained face, glaring at him even though that could've been a very wrong move had it been with an actual HYDRA guard.

despite the strange feeling of being safe around this man, you didn't let your guard down. that's exactly what those scientists said seven years ago. trusting kind-looking men got you into this hell you never thought you would ever escape from and you weren't going to make the same mistake again.

"clint," a red-headed female, also in all black, entered through the open door of your cell with her pistol up. at the sight of the weapon, you broke your glare towards the man. your breathing quickened and you went back to your original position before the archer came; body pressed up against your knees and covering your ears with your palms.

"i'm sorry! i'm sorry! i'll come! please don't use that on me again," you whimpered, voice muffled as your face was hidden against your knees. the woman freezes mid-walk, looking at her friend with a bewildered expression.

"nat! put that away!" clint whispered harshly, eyes glaring at the pistol in nat's hands. nat's jaw dropped in realisation, a small gasp leaving her lips as she immediately put away her weapon.

she slowly makes her way to you and clint puts his arm out before she could get closer. he looks at her with a worried expression as he shook his head, as if telling her that she can't get too close to you. nat nods understandingly, crouching down a distance from you.

"hey," she spoke softly. "i promise you that we're not here to hurt you." you kept your face hidden from her, still hugging your legs tightly. nat sighs before sitting down.

"here, let's introduce ourselves. i'm nat and this right here is clint." you hear her speak and when you slowly lifted up your head, you saw the both of them sitting down in front of you, seeming to have made themselves at home in your pathetic cell. "what's your name?"

name? you had never been able to use your name before. you always kept your own name deep in your heart despite no one ever using it, afraid you would forget it if you stopped thinking of it. the only name they ever called you here was 'number five'.

"y/n," you whispered, still doubtful about these people's intentions. you almost burst out crying when you said your name out loud. that was the first time you introduced yourself with your actual name and not the number you were given ever since you were captured.

nat must have noticed this because she immediately spoke up, trying to distract you from your consuming thoughts. "y/n...that's a pretty name for a pretty girl like you. how old are you, y/n?" she asks again.

you contemplated once more but decided it was fine. you knew you were probably going to regret trusting these two strangers but what could be worse than what HYDRA has been doing to you for years?

"13," you muttered, looking down at your lap. you were now timidly seated cross-legged, playing with the tattered hem of your shorts. you heard a small gasp from one of them and looked up to see clint with his jaw dropped.

the two adults were both thinking of the same thing. how could you be 13? you were so small and sickly-looking, they didn't even think you were older than ten, let alone an early teen.

"i know you're scared and you have all the reasons in the world to be, but i promise you, we're here to help. we'll get you out of here, only if you trust us. will you trust us?" nat says. your mind was conflicted. you were either going to finally get out of this hellhole or you were going to be taken somewhere even worse than here. but could anywhere really be worse than here?

you decided to take a leap of faith and trust these two strangers. that decision had to have been the best decision you've ever made in your life.

you were now 18, an official avenger and you had the most amazing family you could've ever asked for. they were a bit on the crazier side but could you really have a normal family when said family consisted of superheroes? but you weren't complaining. you loved these people.

they were the ones who took care of you when you thought you had no one. having been a HYDRA experiment, you had abilities the normal human didn't. said ability being shapeshifting and healing. that's why you became an avenger. your shapeshifting ability was essential during missions where you had to sneak in and you being able to heal others was crucial when medic wasn't able to be there on time.

you pretty much came along to every mission despite the adults saying you don't have to. you knew they were only doing that to protect you from dangers of all those missions but how could you not when you had such abilities? they'd be much better with you helping.

that was why you were here, in bulgaria, fighting alongside the team. well, just steve, nat, clint, bucky and tony.

justin hammer had managed to get his hands on a type of out-of-this-planet weapon that tony was also trying to retrieve, and he had big plans with it. hence why the avengers had to come where hammer had wrecked havoc in; sofia, bulgaria. he had upgraded his robots with the tech used for the stolen weapon.

with evil robots attacking the whole city, it felt like you were living the story that wanda told you of what happened in sokovia before you met the avengers.

an hour passed before all of the robots had finally been taken down and you all knew you had to get to hammer before he activates more robots to distract you guys and uses the weapon for bad things.

"tony, have you located hammer?" steve's voice sounded in your ear through the comms. you had just finished healing the nasty gash on clint's side, nat's cut on her forehead and the bruises all over bucky. you were feeling significantly weaker now, from the amount of healing you did. you stumbled slightly when you walked and bucky immediately held onto your arm. "doll, are you okay?"

"i'm fine, buck. nothing i haven't dealt with before," you told him, gently removing his grip on your arm, walking back to the quinjet.

-

"no, absolutely not. we are not sending y/n right into a death trap. she's not even strong enough right now, she just finished healing us."

you were all back at the compound now and planning a second attack on justin hammer.

"it's not a death trap, buck. and i know you're worried but she's the only choice we got. y/n, all you gotta do is sneak in as one of his henchmen and provide entrance for us. once we get in, we'll take all his guards down and get that weapon from hammer and we won't have to worry about his world domination plans anymore. it'll be over as soon as it starts and she'll be back safe with us. sound good, y/n/n?"

"yeah, sure." you agreed, already having a person in mind that you were going to change yourself to.

-

the plan had gone just as steve wanted and they managed to raid justin hammer's building, tony stealing the very item that could've aided in the massacre of millions. justin and his henchmen managed to escape the building before the avengers could catch them.

"well, that was anticlimactic," tony scoffs, already making his way to the quinjet. "but good job, y/n. you saved the day once again."

he expected to hear a laugh from you, like you usually did, being the only one who ever responds to him after missions. but instead he was met with silence. "kid?" still no answer.

"y/n, where are you?" steve panicked, finally realising that you were the only one who hasn't responded in a hot minute. "y/n/n, this isn't funny." he breathed out.

"she's...she's gone."

-

"well, well, well," a voice spoke right as you woke up from your slumber. you squinted, noticing that you were in some sort of dark room with only one light bulb right above you. "what do we have here?"

a figure walks right in the light and you could barely make out justin hammer's ugly face with how dizzy you felt. "if it isn't the little freak." he states condescendingly, smirking down at your helpless position, both wrists and ankles cuffed onto the metal chair you were sat on. you struggled against the restraints, trying to get free but to no avail.

your breathing quickened, your current vulnerable state reminding you of your later years in HYDRA. they had started off experimenting on you on a metal gurney but as you grew older, you realised that what they were doing to you was bad so you started fighting back. that ended you up on a metal restraint chair instead of the gurney, strapped to the chair with cuffs on your wrists and ankles.

this felt like deja vu. the same panic you felt, the same breathing difficulties, the same amount of effort put into trying to get out of the restraints. "you should know, princess, that that doesn't work." hammer chuckled, a fake pout on his lips as he crouched in front of you, a rough hand on your cheek. you instinctively jerked away from his touch, to which he paid no mind to because he had expected that. he then grabbed your chin harshly, turning your head up towards him. you glared at him.

"you think i didn't know what you did? snuck in as one of my men using your freaky powers? not to mention useless. imagine having powers but not being able to use them to even escape from mere humans," he laughs in your face, harshly letting go of your chin, throwing your head backwards. "you tell me where stark planned to bring the weapon and i'll let you pretty little thing go."

"no."

before you could even comprehend, his fist came flying at your face and your head dropped to the side at the impact. your left cheekbone was throbbing and you could already tell you were gonna have a black eye. despite the pain, it wasn't something you weren't used to. you were an avenger, after all. getting decked in the face was practically in the contract.

he grabbed your chin once again, pulling your head upwards to face him. "you're gonna tell me where it is or i'm gonna make you regret it."

you looked up at him with a bored look. he punched you again. and again. and again. until you could taste the blood on your tongue. "think you wanna tell me now, sweetheart?"

"never. not to someone like you."

the man seemed to get a kick out of beating you up because he punched you again in the face. your whole face was pretty much numb now and the metallic taste in your mouth intensified. you smirked at the man before you, chuckling darkly.

"sure, beat up the helpless girl. that's the only way you can beat me, right? when i'm all tied up? what a man,"

his hand was around your throat within a second and he forced you to look him in the eyes again. "sweetheart, you're a girl. tied or not, you're still weak. not even with that useless power of yours."

taking advantage of how close his face was to yours, you gathered as much bloody saliva in your mouth before spitting it in his face.

it was very much the wrong thing to do because after he wiped off his face, he left the room and two men came in, various tools in hand for their fun with you.

-

"stark! my buddy! how's it going?" justin hammer's face appeared on the screen in the conference room, where the avengers were having a meeting about your possible whereabouts.

"where is she?!" wanda growled, standing up abruptly.

"what ever do you mean?" hammer smirked, feigning innocence. "you know what we mean. where is she?" steve spoke authoritatively, trying to control his anger at the sight of the man's face.

"i'll tell you where your thing is if you tell me where my thing is." he smiled wickedly. this caused wanda to get angrier. "y/n is not a thing! and the weapon was never yours in the first place!" vision held onto her to calm her down and it worked because she sat back down, though still glaring at the screen.

"oh she's not a thing? seems like it to me, though." he smirked and the team frowned, not understanding what he meant until they heard screams and justin's smirk widening at the sound. what a sick bastard. "what are you doing to her?!" bucky screamed, knocking his chair back as he stood up.

"i don't know, you tell me." he chuckles, and the screen changes to the live footage of you in the restraint chair with the two men in the room.

you were no longer fighting back now, just sat limply with your head dropped to the side. the first hour with them, you had been fighting back like you did with justin, despite the restraints, but now entering the second hour, you were too exhausted for anything.

your left eye had been swollen shut, you could barely breathe through your nose, your cheeks were throbbing like hell and your bottom lip was busted. your head was the only thing that moved freely when hit so the men seemed to find satisfaction the most when they punched you in the face. though that didn't stop them from inflicting pain on other parts of you.

"let her go, she's just a kid!" sam exclaimed, his grip on the edge of the table tightening to control his anger. peter and wanda were crying looking at the awful state you were in, clint, tony and bruce were silent in shock, steve and bucky were getting increasingly angry as the abuse continued.

"are you going to tell us where stark is keeping the weapon or have you not gotten enough?" one of the two men was heard asking, pulling your hair back to make you look up at him. you look at with your half-opened right eye, breathing heavily. "my answer's never gonna change no matter how many times you ask."

he scoffs, stepping back before the other man swings a bat right at your stomach. the air was immediately knocked out of your lung. the men laughed as you coughed up blood profusely. this caused wanda to get more hysterical.

"well, looks like she wants more. i'll call back when she's had enough. toodles," he waves his fingers at the camera with a sinister smirk before abruptly ending the call.

the room went silent after the call, save for bucky and sam breathing heavily from the anger they felt. bucky then turned to steve, pain could be seen on his face. "you said she would be safe."

"i–i'm sorry, buck. i didn't know he was gonna take her with him." steve was still frozen in shock, the image of you on the chair now permanently ingrained in his brain. in everyone's brains actually.

"guys, gear up, he's in colorado."

all heads turned towards natasha and she looked back at them with a 'what?' expression. "you were tracking him down the whole time?"

"um, duh? now come on, gotta save our girl."

-

you awoke to a stinging sensation on your inner forearm. after your bloody coughing fit, they proceeded to beat you up again and you were knocked out then. now you were slowly regaining consciousness but you were starting to prefer being passed out. your whole body was in pain and the fact that you couldn't even move made it even worse.

"oh, lookie here. sleeping beauty is up." you were met once again with justin hammer's ugly face. he was sitting on a chair perpendicular to your left side. you couldn't wait to get out of here so you didn't have to keep seeing his face every time you woke up. your inner forearm was stinging even more now so you looked down at it. you gasped at the sight.

"how'd you like my artwork?" he chuckled at your reaction. there on your arm, obviously carved out with the bloody knife that the asshole was so proudly holding on to, was 'FREAK'. carved out big and bold. on your skin. "pretty fitting, eh? freak? because, you know, that's what you are."

the blood was seeping out through the cuts and it stung even more now that it had been exposed to the air. the asshole moved his chair to your other side. "what should i write on this arm?" he feigns a thinking expression, looking up thoughtfully with his thumb and pointer finger on his chin.

"please, i–i don't know where tony put it. i really don't." you cried, tears now flowing freely down your face without a shame.

he looks at you with amusement. "what is this? are you...are you giving up already? can't take anymore?" he smirks and you sigh, closing your eyes. you just awoke but you were exhausted. so, so exhausted.

he takes out his phone, the smirk now permanent on his ugly face. "stark! kid's finally had enough. wanna tell me where the weapon is now or do you want to find her body at the bottom of the ocean?"

you couldn't even be bothered to react to his statement. the pain all finally registered and you were tired. tired and in excruciating pain.

"kinda busy right now, can you call back later?" you could hear tony's voice sound from justin's phone and the man beside you laughed. "i see you don't care for the girl. what could possibly be more important than saving her?"

"i don't know, you tell me." a voice said from behind you two and before you knew it, hammer was knocked off the chair he was on. you weakly turned your head just in time to see a metal arm force hammer up onto his feet before wrapping around his neck. "don't you fucking touch her again."

"y/n!" you heard wanda's voice as she entered the room with peter. more tears flowed down your face at the sight of them, stinging when they rolled past the cuts on your face but that didn't matter. your family was finally here to save you.

you saw the red mist of wanda's powers surround your cuffs before they clicked open. "oh, bubs, i'm so sorry." she cried, both hands hovering around your face, hesitating to touch you in fear of hurting you. her eyes fell onto the words carved out onto your skin and her mouth fell open before covering it with her hand. "i'm so sorry we couldn't get to you sooner." peter's voice cracked and you could tell he was emotional.

"it's okay," you told them, giving them a small smile, the biggest one you could give in your current state.

tony, sam and steve entered the room to see bucky relentlessly beating up your captor and wanda and peter standing by you as you cried.

"cupcake, we're here now. don't cry, you're safe now." tony came closer and despite knowing that you were because your family was finally here, you couldn't help but let out all the pent up emotions you've kept throughout your time of captivity.

sam had a go at justin once bucky was done and steve had to physically pry them both off of the sick bastard so that nat could cuff him and bring him back to the jet.

"y/n/n, i'm so sorry. if i hadn't–"

"it's okay, stevie." you cut him off. truthfully, you only did so because you knew he was going to giving a long-winded explanation justifying his actions and your headache couldn't bear to hear lengthy sentences. but you also didn't think it was in any way his fault so he didn't deserve to be beating himself up for this. shit happens, anyway.

"let's get you out of here, doll." bucky says, cringing when he sees the blood on the floor of your chair, as well as on your clothes. he quickly reaches to lift you off the chair but stops when you let out an ear-piercing scream of pain. "doll, i'm so sorry! did i hurt you?!" bucky questions in panic.

"y–you didn't, they did. it...it hurts everywhere," you cried, feeling hopeless that you couldn't even bear being carried by someone, let alone get up by yourself. their hearts broke when you said that. you never really cried much in front of them and you were known to withstand pain well because of how much shit HYDRA put you in as well as your powers being healing, meaning you had a higher pain tolerance than most people.

"it's okay, bubs. i got you. let's get you home, alright?" wanda's calming voice broke you out of your breakdown and red mist surrounded your whole body, wanda moving you with her powers. you were thankful of that because it didn't cause any more pain to your body.

maybe hammer was right. maybe you are just a freak with useless powers. wanda floated you into the jet and she set you down on the bed. "y/n, oh my god!" clint cried out once he sees you. you looked much worse than you did on hammer's camera footage during the call an hour ago. "kid, i'm so sorry."

"clint, take the wheel. bruce doesn't have all the resources needed. she needs to be treated ASAP." nat tells her best friend and he nods, taking the wheel and immediately taking off once everyone had boarded.

you were laid on the bed, right eye slightly open as bruce examined you. exhaustion hit you like a truck and before you knew it, you blacked out.

-

"how is she, doc?"

"pretty banged up but y/n, as i already knew, is a strong girl. lots of internal bleeding, broken bones, bruises and scars but she'll be fine. you can check her file later if you want," doctor cho tells tony outside of your room. "it's fine, can we see her?" he asks on behalf of the whole team standing behind him.

"yeah, of course! she woke up five minutes ago. i'll be off now, call me or my team if you need anything." she bids goodbye and left the group of superheroes.

steve slowly opens the door and there you were in bed, staring up at the ceiling. "hey, y/n/n," he greets sheepishly, feeling as though he had interrupted your alone time of blankly staring at the ceiling. the team trailed in behind him and soon your bed was surrounded by the avengers.

"hi, cupcake."

you looked away from the ceiling and turned your head towards tony. "oh, hey tones." you smile as sam helps you sit up while the rest sat on chairs all around you. "how you feeling, bub?" nat asks, eyes flickering down to the bold scarring of letters on your forearm.

"as okay as i can be." you answered truthfully, pressing your inner forearm closer to your body so the team doesn't see the letters carved onto your skin. you already know what you are, you didn't need the rest thinking so too.

"you're not a freak, bubs."

you look up at wanda. "i'm sorry, i didn't mean to read your mind. but they were awfully loud. you're not a freak, y/n. and you're not useless too. that bastard may have carved out that word onto your skin but the scar will fade. it's not permanent. you know why? because that's not what you are." she tells you, taking off her jacket to wrap it around you because you felt self conscious of the scars all over your arms where the team could see.

"yeah, doll. you're an amazing person and your powers help us so much. i mean, you saved millions just helping us get the weapon back from justin hammer. if you hadn't, well, who knows what could've been happening right now?" he places a gentle hand at the side of your head, stroking your hair.

"yeah and who heals us when we get really hurt during missions, huh? i mean, if you hadn't healed that stab wound i got during that mission in new mexico, i probably wouldn't even be here at this moment." clint tells you and you roll your eyes at him. "you're exaggerating."

"i am not!" he laughed and you playfully rolled your eyes once again.

"y/n/n, i'm really sorry for—"

"i don't wanna hear it, stevie."

"but–"

"no. it's not your fault. shit happens." you brush him off. "lang–"

"you say language to me, i'll blame this shit on you even when it's not your fault. try me, rogers." you glare at the blond super soldier. he raises his arms in surrender, leaning back on his chair as the team laughs.

the team continue to entertain you and you couldn't help but smile at the sight in front of you. these were the people who would drop anything for you and were willing to dropkick any asshole in the face for hurting you. justin hammer never had a chance against your family to begin with.

taglist <3

@amourtentiaa @rqmanoff @abitofeverythinggg

[keltonwrites]

Where no one knows your name

How many times is a person meant to make new friends? When I moved into an apartment in DC with an absolutely iconic girl from Craigslist, I wrote in my journal, “you never know when you’ll meet your next bridesmaid.” Charmingly juvenile, as I was 24 years old. Ironic, as I never had any bridesmaids. And embarrassing, knowing I wrote something that’s surely been embroidered on a bachelorette party t-shirt by now. My point was: you can meet people you fall in love with anywhere, anytime, assuming your heart (and calendar) are open. Now my heart and calendar are open and I am one of Elizabeth Bennet’s sad sisters, cloying and desperate for attention while everyone at the ball ignores me. Meeting people here is unnerving and hapless and eye-clawingly vulnerable. My first new friend told me she was moving away in a few months. Do you invest deeply in hopes of another faraway friendship? Do you just go back to waving as you pass on the street? I like this girl! What an embarrassing thing to have to say to someone! Do you just invite people to every and anything like a lunatic? I can’t even remember to call the people I am forever-and-ever in cahoots with. I’m also deeply bound by what I’ll call the Movie Trap: say it’s 3pm during not-a-pandemic, and you get the urge to see a movie. You look at the showings, and there’s one you really want to see at 7:15. You think to yourself, “I should make an effort,” and you text a friend. “Hey, you wanna go see This Cool Movie at 7:15 tonight?” No one ever says yes. Don’t give me an example of when someone has, because it’s always one of these answers:

“Oooh, I’m actually seeing it with Kate tomorrow - wanna come?”

“Can we go to the 9pm showing? Stuck at work.”

“Yeah but let’s see Movie You’ll Fucking Hate instead.”

Now maybe I’m just lighting flares guiding you to the worst parts of my personality, but this drives me nuts. No, Liz, I don’t want to go tomorrow. I want to go tonight. At 7:15. So I can be in bed by 10. And you’d have to drag my dead body and prop open my eyes to get me to see something like Marriage Story in theaters. The Movie Trap is a big reason I usually hang out by myself, or I make plans weeks in advance. (Don't I sound like a blast.) Just the idea of being like, “I like you! Wanna hang out in October?” makes me want to collapse into a puddle of sad adulthood. Which is why on Friday at 4:30pm, when a girl I’d met a week prior asked if I wanted to grab a drink, I just said yes. I put on a pretty dress, did my makeup, put stuff in a purse, and drove the 25 minutes to town. It was really fun! And how novel to have new contacts in my phone like “Maggie blue house” and “Jess concert friend” — a throwback to the days of “Greg guy on L train” and “Devon ad party.” The very concept of not knowing someone’s last name or even needing it, and a year from now updating their contact info and smiling at your origin story. But for the most part, no one is in our phones. In terms of phone numbers collected, here is the list:

Two friends we knew prior who thank god you guys exist.

New friend who is moving away.

New friend who is game to drink tequila and ride mountain bikes.

Neighbor-not-yet-friend who I really fucking like and am not sure how to cross hang-out threshold with.

​Not to say there aren’t any other prospects or people I’m platonically gaga over, but I don’t have their phone numbers. There are honestly a lot of people like this because when you live in a small town (and you’re from the Midwest) you say “oop, sorry” to every person/object you bump into, and you say “hi :)” to every person you see. These are the rules. If I drive by you and don’t wave, it’s because I was so deep in a daydream I probably shouldn’t have been driving in the first place. This isn’t acceptable, because in our urgency to tattoo our vaccination status on our foreheads so we can make friends, it turns out just driving by someone can be a viable strategy. A few days ago, a man was driving by our kitchen window and then our driveway, and then he reversed back up to the kitchen window and started waving. Ben went outside — it was that kind of wave. The man had seen from his car a smokejumper emblem on the back of a truck in our driveway. “Hey, are you a smokejumper?” We aren’t. But my dad was, and he was in town visiting, accompanied by the emblem on the back of his truck. The guy said we should drink sometime. Numbers were not exchanged. We’ll call that a node, because it’s not quite a connection. And it’s mainly nodes, waiting to be connected, to have relevance. But first, no matter who you’re trying to befriend, you have to answer everyone else’s Do I Care Quiz. The quiz is employed by 93% of locals to determine how they feel about you existing within their personal 50-mile radius. The first question is non negotiable:

1) Are you visiting?

Variations on this question include “how long are you in town?” or “what brings y’all to town?” or my least favorite and most insulting, “did you just finish Jeeping?” I know I have blonde hair and say y’all, but how dare you. (Also, to be clear, you can own a Jeep, customize your Jeep, mod out your Jeep, and love your Jeep, but you’re not Jeeping until you drive too fast through a tiny town so you can hurl your Jeep over a mountain pass without ever getting out of it.) So the answer to “are you visiting” is “no, I live here.” Which brings us to the next question, my favorite for how loaded the gun, kneeling in the grass, scope on, target locked it is.

2) Are you part-time or full-time?

The first time I answered this question, I didn’t realize it was essentially like asking how someone voted in the 2020 election. The judgment was cocked and ready and the palpable relief/joy/or at the very least, tolerance, exuded by answering “full-time” was like when the sun comes out from behind the clouds on a 40 degree day. I was fine, but wow that does feel better. The third question though does not have a standard hoped-for answer. This is where nodes turn to connections turn to phone numbers.

3) What brings you here?

It seems like the best possible answer would be saying you work in town, and you’re going to begin construction on displaced-worker housing to ensure the people who run this town can actually live in it. We’d have everyone’s phone number. Saying you’re a writer who works remotely and bought a house from a legendary and beloved local who could no longer afford it is really something you keep to yourself. But in the interest of making friends, I just word vomit my entire history. We might as well find out at the onset if I make your eyes roll back into your skull. Not at all threatening that all it takes is a single social signal misinterpreted to be the absolute death knell of my ability to make friends in a town of some 1400 adults. In fact, I’ll share one such interaction. I was hiking with Cooper, about 5 miles by foot away from my house. I was on a trail, crossing a sloped meadow, and a group was traversing up the hillside to the trail. I said hi, where y’all coming from. One girl answered and we talked about the trail. She eyed me up and down. “Did you just move here?” “I did!” “I served your family last week,” she said. “Oh,” that phrasing. “Must have been my in-laws.” “Heard you bought Jack’s house. Such a bummer when locals like that are forced out.” “We didn’t even know about his house,” I said. “We were looking at another house and he asked his realtor if he could get us to come see his house. We just loved it, and him!” She had no emotional reaction to this. “You moved from California?” she asked. (Dangerous question.) “Yeah, got these sea level lungs, haha,” attempting to disarm with humor was a failure, “but couldn’t be happier to be out of California.” “It’s not like this all year. Winter’s really hard here, you’re in for a rude awakening.” “Well California’s the last place I lived, but I’m not from there. I’ve lived in brutal winters. At least Colorado gets sun!” I laugh with cloaked loathing. “It’s different when you live at altitude,” she said, like no human aside from her had ever been literally anywhere. “Are you trying to go around?” She indicated the path behind her. “No, y’all go ahead, just gonna wait to give you your space. I’m sure you’re faster than me.” “K, good luck making it to the lake." Maybe she was thirsty. Maybe she was hungover. Maybe she just has vicious delivery, but it felt like every blade of grass was leaning against the wind to listen. She was with four other people and not one of them said a word. I left that interaction not wanting to see another human ever again. But that interaction, and her intimate knowledge of exactly which house I lived in, made me want to decorate like we lived in a gingerbread house, all candy canes and plum drops, screaming to any passerby that we’re friendly. One of the mayor’s first questions to me was “what are you going to do to the house?” There are rules here about what your house can look like, and I kept emphasizing we bought the house because we loved it, not because we wanted to change everything about it. And now, instead of wanting to decorate the interior, I want to put up shades so we don’t contribute to light pollution, I want to hang a sign by the water spigot saying “grab some if you need” for hikers and mountain bikers, I want to paint a sign for the wild mint by our door that says, “I mint to tell you to take some,” because our neighbors were openly panicked they wouldn’t be able to just grab mint from the cabin’s garden anymore. Without question, COVID makes things harder. Dinner parties feel like dares. Dropping cookies off at someone’s house feels invasive. Grabbing a drink feels like the ultimate sign of trust. But at least we have nodes who can connect who can think to invite us and who can see that despite having lived in California, we’re not all that bad. In the meantime, I’ll be painting signs about water and mint, hoping to garner the benefit of the doubt from the so beautifully, earnestly, and waiting-to-see-if-you’re-worth-it doubtful.

Subscribe to the newsletter at tinyletter.com/keltonwrites — high altitude relocation and renovation in a tiny mountain town.

[tigerdrop]

for what its worth i originally followed you /because/ i find it so charming how passionate you are for your specific niche interests. like i know nothing abt hlvrai like i have literally no idea what it is (is it... a podcast? lets play...?) idk how i found you but i just thought huh this person is really cool and neat and super into this thing ive never heard of and super unapologetic that its "weird" fetish shit, thats dope, /im/ into weird fetish shit lol and ive loved seeing you on my dash since then, even though i still got no clue who these dudes are. Sorry this is weird lol i hope this doesnt come off as condescending or anything i just thought why not let you know (:

that is very nice of u and i have no idea how you got here or how youve managed to stick around but.....thank u nonetheless

and i know you didnt actually ask this but this ask is basically fresh meat to a piranha so (swiveling in my chair) i am going to tell u about hlvrai.

hlvrai is a half life machinima, which basically means "a handful of people used a video game to roleplay a bunch of characters in a story". (sorry if this seems condescending. i dont mean to be im just erring on the side of caution.) you can find the abridged version here on youtube. it was streamed live on twitch by funny man wayneradiotv, and ended up developing a terrifyingly huge fanbase b/c A) its funny, but also B) it has a dude that exists purely to antagonize/flirt with the main character, gordon freeman. this dudes name is benrey. he is almost certainly the biggest reason why this fanbase exploded shortly after it aired. he is also, unfortunately, the half life security guard model that cursed my dick

the thing about hlvrai is that it also spawned a uniquely sex-averse fanbase. which is why i end up with so many people giving me shit on here. there are a number of interlocking reasons for this. one is the average age of the fans. its an M-rated machinima based on an M-rated game, but a huge chunk of the fandom consists of 15 yr olds with incredibly wack ideas about sexuality. red vs blue (the halo machinima) also had a primary audience of teenagers and young adults, but it has over 10 fucking thousand fics on ao3 and not nearly the same violent repulsion towards adult works. probably b/c the average gamer was more likely to just call you a slur if they found out you wanted the purple and orange master chiefs to bang.

this dovetails with some popular misinterpretations of comments made by wrtv and the cast about nsfw fanworks. wayne doesnt like seeing them and it makes him uncomfortable to be shown them, but he has stated multiple times that he doesnt actually give a shit if people make them and we can do what we want in our own spaces. he has no desire to play fandom police and, more importantly, has no desire for anybody else to do so, either. buuut most people who are het up about this are teenagers who are already uncomfortable around the subject of sex, who think that wayne was just being coerced into saying that stuff, and who very much do not want to be convinced otherwise. (and im certainly not gonna fucking try.)

at the end of the day a lot of peoples problems with nsfw fanworks boils down to, they see these machinima characters as just "the streamers being themselves", so drawing them touching dicks amounts to drawing rpf of real, actual guys. like the mcyt fanbase. but its just demonstrably untrue! wayne repeatedly has to cajole himself into getting into character as gordon freeman. benrey has his own fucking plushie and is a recurring character on waynes streams now. they are their own characters! and at this point i have psychoanalyzed them so thoroughly and read so much into a half life improv series they might as well be their own fucking OCs. (god knows thats what most content in this fandom amounts to, anyway.)

sorry. that was mean. anyway i dont know if you care about any of this but if you ask me literally anything about hlvrai i will explode like a water balloon. i am just enthralled with the concept of the series and with these two characters in specific and i still really really want them to fight and fuck and piss their pants or whatever embarrassing shit

[elizabeatrice]

Episode 12 - The Little Mermaid

Let’s Talk About JSHK Anime #3

Warning: Manga spoilers for The Little Mermaid arc, The Clock Keeper arc, and chapter 64!!! (just a bit, skip point no. 5, 6, and 10 if you don’t want to get spoiled) Also … this ended up way longer than I intended.

Well that was one heck of a feels trip. It’s probably my new favorite episode, just because everyone is here being wholesome lmao.

This is mostly hananene meta I ain’t even gonna lie.

Before we begin, shout out to Black Canyon, our newest anime cutie pie. Just look at him, folks. Just chilling with his sunflower seed.

He has no idea the kind of life his owner leads.

I said before that the best part of episode 12 is how it made Daydream worse, so now I’m gonna ramble about it.

“Maybe different species can’t understand each other after all.”

“Maybe it would be better if I were an apparition too.”

This is my favorite part of the episode. And no, not in the sense that I want Nene to die just so that she and Hanako can be together. But because of how Lerche actually explored deeper what was said only once in the manga.

Well, both in the manga and anime Nene ended up accepting the mermaid’s blood because of her desire to be popular, but the anime decided to revisit what she said earlier in the episode.

Not only did that make her decision kinda less selfish, it’s also just … sad. Thinking that your friend, someone you really cared about, doesn’t trust you enough to tell you things about themselves, to the point where you’re willing to go to such lengths as turning into an apparition just to understand them.

And if you think about it, isn’t this part of her true wish? To have her feelings be reciprocated? Man I just realized that as I wrote this and I am mindblown.

She thought she finally got her wish with Hanako. I mean, he said it himself in the first ep (”You wanted someone, anyone, to return your feelings, right? And as far as you’re concerned, sharing a bond with someone is the same thing, right?”). So it must’ve hit her really hard when she thought he didn’t trust her. Especially with all the wrong ideas the fishes were feeding her mind.

Then we got this little flashback. At first I was like, “Girl, you really be thinking that he doesn’t care about you while recalling the moment he apologized to you and hugged you? Are you insane?”

But after some thinking of my own, it occurred to me. Maybe she was too used to having her feelings not reciprocated, she couldn’t believe it when someone finally did. Not to mention Hanako did kinda trick her with his fake confession a while back (heh, he’s not the only one with trust issues, eh?). And that just made the entire thing even sadder.

So when Nene said, “But I thought, if I were an apparition like you, I could get closer to you. Then, maybe I’d be able to understand you, Hanako-kun. Although I know I probably don’t mean anything to you.”

That was a harsh wake up call for Hanako.

(Btw even more full circle, Hanako brought up Nene’s wish to become human again in the first episode. Nice.)

So. We got one daikon girl who’s afraid of not having her feelings reciprocated, and one ghost boy who’s afraid that daikon girl wouldn’t be his friend anymore if she knew about his past.

While in actuality, said daikon girl already decided she wanted to and would be his friend no matter what, and ghost boy had grown to care about her more than he thought he would.

He heard what she said to Tsuchigomori. He knew all about regret, too.  I mean, honestly, I think if she had said no, he’d let her walk away right then and there, no questions asked. But she didn’t.

Nene’s wish finally came true here. And the best part? It wasn’t the work of magic or curses. Just Hanako finally shoving his fear aside, offering himself as he was, and letting her decide.

And she still chose to be with him.

Heh. Lemme just. Sob for a bit.

Is my hananene trash brain reading too much into this? Idk. Maybe.

So props to the production team for managing to add even more weight to this arc. Which, they had to, since it’s the season finale and all. But I love what they did!

Onto my commentaries!

1. The KouNene

Good shit. She was worried about him but he didn’t want her to worry so he just smiled it off? These two are precious. Thought they were gonna interact. Sadly not. Buuuut! (see point 12)

2. Hanako’s classroom visit

He. Is. So. Adorable. Someone please take his babey license away he’s too dangerous.

Hanako’s classroom visit is like my absolute favorite clingy Hanako moment, so I’m really happy I get to see it this season. Ugh. My kokoro. Hugging her from behind, that semi confession vibe … Smooth mf.

The Mokke brushing Nene’s hair!!! The radish hairdo tho lmao.

On a sidenote, as a history nerd I appreciate that they’re actually putting lessons in the background. And the teacher talked about Apollo 11 again??? While my boy was in the room? That ish both hurt and pleased me.

3. The Clock Keeper rumor drop

Heeeeeehhhhh? What’s thiiiiiissss?

4. This freaking thing

*flips table* Darn production team been knew I’m hananene trash how dare they do this to me.

And lookie here there’s Kodama chilling.

5. Fishies! (!!!manga spoiler for The Little Mermaid arc!!!)

Pufferfish didn’t die. Well, good for him. Also I can’t believe they just call the other fish ‘yeah yeah’ lmao what the freak. Has it always been like that in the manga?

6. AOI AND AKANE (!!!spoilers for chapter 64!!!)

I swear I did not intend this numbering coincidence.

*claps* Boi. Nene asking Aoi about cutting ties with someone she’s interested in? And then Akane just swooped in and say he’d rather cut his head off than cut ties with Aoi? What about getting impaled, huh, boy? Would that do?

The not-so-subtle call out to these two pairs’ parallel? BOI.

7. Nene and Yako

These two just chilling together having girl talk, and Yako let Nene pet her? That’s some adorable shit right there. Admit it Yako you like her.

Yako also be really hitting home with what she said. It was extra heavy coming from her, considering what happened to her and Misaki. Boiiiiii.

8. Tsuchigomori

Oh my God, his laughter. Just … oh my God.

Tsuchigomori in dad mode is always one of the highlights of the episode/chapter.

By the way, in this scene according to the sub, Nene asked Tsuchigomori who Tsukasa is. But she knew who he is already. Is it possible that the sub misinterpreted it? ‘Cause I think what she actually meant was, “What happened to him and Tsukasa-kun in the past?”

If someone who speaks Japanese could share their wisdom, please do!

9. The 5 pm bell and twilight

Look how pretty they are!!!

Lo and behold, another important hananene interaction while the 5 pm bell plays in the background. Also, twilight? Y’all giving me Kimi no Na wa flashbacks.

“Twilight, when it’s neither day or night. When the world blurs and one might encounter something not human.”

Huh … kinda fits the ‘boundary’ concept but it still hurt.

Anyway they still had Hanako tell her what she already knew. And I did say in my ‘Walking Blind’ post that it’d be redundant. But since the episode kinda emphasized Nene’s desire to understand Hanako, having him actually tell her himself, even though she already knew it, was a big deal. It’s not about what she knows, it’s about him opening up to her. So I’m super cool with it.

10. The Broadcasting Club (!!!spoilers for The Clock Keeper arc!!!)

I love how Natsuhiko and Sakura are actually decent people. When he told Mitsuba that he was free to choose to stay with them or not? That’s solid, man. Though, of course, Tsukasa might not be as kind.

Speaking of, I know it couldn’t be anything else, but I’m still not sure if Tsukasa’s drawing was confirmation for season 2. Don’t wanna get my hopes up. Imma just enjoy what I currently have.

Kinda curious, though. Because Clock Keeper wasn’t Tsukasa’s doing. Maybe he was the one who released Mirai? But tbh I’d prefer if it wasn’t so. Because having more cases of supernaturals going loco without it being one of Tsukasa’s games is interesting, and kinda underlines the need of The Seven Wonders to keep supernaturals in check.

11. Kodama just chilling

12. The Adventures of Minamoto and the Summer Vegetables

You go, Kou! I’m rooting for you oh my God you’re so precious.

And look at that ikemen smile! Him supporting Kou is just top notch sweet y’all I can’t-

Ngl this was the biggest surprise of the episode. Teru finding out that summer vegetables = Nene? Broooooo. Interesting. I don’t think this little addition warrants any changes to their future interaction, so it should be safe. Clever replacement, too, those veggies.

It’s so sweet that Nene delivered those veggies to Kou! Just imagine the Minamoto family having veggies for dinner. Awww.

(Also, Nene wrote her name in hiragana instead of kanji. Is that a reference to how bad Kou is with kanji? Lol, so sweet)

13. The Coda!!!

Look at him. Just look at him. Look how lovesick he is y’all I can’t-

THEY’RE SO ADORABLE.

All in all, I love this episode. Sorry for how long this post is. I’m just dealing with so many feels right now. Gaaahhhhh.

[itsmymindspeaking]

MCL: Love Life EP 3 Castiel,Rayan and Nathaniel Routes Quick Guide

Sorry it took me so long 😭 but here it is 🖤 hope this helps you guys 😊

Aunties Gift:

Weights

Outfits:

If an answer does not have anything next to it, it means i do NOT know the result for that answer

Castiels Route:

Castiel: Would it really be the end of the world if I saw Hyun tomorrow...?

I understand. If only I could get out of this meeting with my banker... +5 No. You need to take care of your responsibilities, I'm afraid. It's the price of fame... -5

Hyun: You... I'm not sure that you realize. It was... really violent!

Castiel... I'm afraid that this isn't the time to make that sort of joke... -5 w Castiel /+5 w Hyun

Gosh, he's still allowed to joke, right? We aren't online here! +5 w Castiel /-5 w Hyun Don't worry, Hyun. Castiel is just like that.+5 w Castiel & Hyun

Nina: Oh... I... I hadn't thought of that. I really wanted to find a solution and...

That's nice of you... This isn't your best idea, but don't give up! +5 Don't worry about it. I'll end up finding a solution. -5

Gustave: You aren't the only commerce concerned by the weather, and our other accounts in town haven't suffered like this.

But do your "superiors" have any idea what it means to run such a place?! +5

I'm the first person to be sorry, believe me. But look, I'm getting things back on track! -5

But, at some point, you need to be pragmatic...

If we come to that point, I guess I won't have a choice... +5 w Gus / -5 w Nina No, I can't do that to Nina. -5 w Gus / +10 w Nina

Yael: Ah... the sinews of war! And... are things that bad?

Oh, no, no. It's alright. It was... a routine visit. -5 Honestly... I feel like I'm in a choke hold. I don't know how I'm going to get out of this... +5

Dan: There are always opportunities for those who know how to take them...

Perhaps, but in my case, it's a bit different. -5 I would have liked for my banker to see things like that. +5

Candy:

Art is a simple question of feeling. +5 w Dan But you know, the band represented has many fans. It could be an interesting investment -5 w Dan

AFTER talking to Eric head to the shops street where you will automatically enter Leigh's store and after some inner dialogue Auntie will show up

Kim: Hmm, that is complicated...

I'll find a solution. I don't know what yet, but I'll find something. +5 Yeah, I feel stuck. I wonder if I should just let things go. -5 Let's just say that I'll need luck to get out of this... /

Chani isn't at the university so if you want to save some AP just go straight to the Art Building

Castiel: You watch too many series, Hyun...

Because you see another possible explanation? Let's face the truth, Hyun's right. +5 w Hyun Previously on "CSI: Crowstorm"... - 5 w Hyun

Yeah... I don't know if he's the right person for this sort of...

It would be more discreet than lodging an official complaint. / Just say that you don't want to owe him anything. +5 w Castiel

Castiel: He should be the one supporting me the most. Instead of that, he's asking me if I have something to admit...

He's your friend. You misinterpreted his thoughts. He just wanted to be sure... Put yourself in his place. You said it yourself: you never really know people. +10

Seriously? But they can't make you do that? You should have sent him packing!

Since you're so smart, next time, I'll send you to negotiate for me. +5 Unfortunately, I'm not rich enough to be able to do that. / Unfortunately, we don't all have that choice, Castiel... I'm not a rockstar.

Rayans Route:

Rayan: All this seems to be upsetting your friend, if I remember our conversation the other night.

Do you want to come with me? +5 I won't ask you to come with us. I'm afraid that it will make things too dramatic...+5

Candy:

(Even today, I don't know how our relationship is considered. In the doubt, I simply returned the salutation.) (So, I walked over, and I kissed him in front of everyone. A sort of small revenge...) +5

Rayan: You have to try to see things from a different angle. "A problem without a solution is a poorly stated problem", right?

I'm afraid that philosophy won't be of any help, this time around... +10 To be frank, my dear, I'm afraid that your advice won't be very useful in the business world...

Nathaniels Route:

Nath: This may be nothing. He's seen worse...

You're probably right, but we can't be sure... I would prefer to clear things up. +5 Can't you imagine how he must feel? With everyone that's attacking him on the networks... -5

That's for sure, but you'd be surprised at the number of people who are ready to do anything to get revenge.

I think I would prefer not to know... +5 You are distorting things because of your job. Those are isolated cases. -5

...to make the whole building fall down. Next time, don't hesitate to counter their attack.

Yeah, well maybe that works with criminals, but not everyone is one. / Well, you know, you weren't there. You don't know anything! You have never even seen him..+10 Nath... Not everything is a power struggle. Sometimes you just have to tone things down a bit. -10

[winetae]

➯ a saint in her halo (m.) 10:21pm

↳  drabble; 2.7k

:: smut, college!au, sunbae!jin

:: phone sex, humiliation

beneath his immaculate appearance and flowery words, no one would expect such filth to spew from his lips

...

or; kim seokjin is simultaneously the best and worst kind of distraction

a/n : this is a sequel to a saint in her halo 3:49pm :)

Late at night, you finally give Seokjin a call.

.

.

The memory of your last encounter is still fresh on your mind. Even when you’re not consciously thinking about it - about him - your upper thigh burns like it still remembers the sharp dig of the ballpoint pen rubbing across your bare skin. The constant physical reminder of his touch makes it difficult to concentrate on your everyday activities. It feels like he’s branded you, burned his way into you and made you his. Each time you think you forget, your thigh throbs and heat simmers beneath the surface.

The scrawl of numbers has long since been smudged and erased. To the naked eye, your skin has become a blank canvas once more.

“Call me,” he had said. And God, do you want to.

You don’t work up the courage right away. How can you?

At the time, immediately saving his phone number into your contact list had seemed like a brilliant idea. Now you’re not so sure. Imagination and fantasies are one thing - but in the reality you live in, you aren’t half as bold or confident as you aspire to be. A million reasons stop you, not all of them unfounded - rationality, embarrassment, fear of rejection.

That doesn’t stop you from letting your mind wander, however. The possibility that the call might go well, that it might lead to something else... You sigh, stopping your thoughts before they have time to root themselves deep inside of you and grow into something you can no longer control.

Your friends attempt to urge you into action.

“He gave you his number. I doubt he gave it to you just so you could store it away for safe keeping.”

“What if I read the situation wrong?” You bite your nail. In all honesty, you’re not intentionally trying to be obtuse. Even if you’re unsure as to why, you know deep down that Seokjin’s actions, the way his low voice toyed with you and messed with your insides, are impossible to misinterpret.

“I get it. You like him a lot and don’t want to fuck it up. But if you don’t even try, you’ll never know - and isn’t not knowing worse?”

There’s logic behind the argument, you concede. As the rest of the week stretches on and your mind never fully stops revolving around Seokjin, you start to think that the strange limbo you find yourself stranded in can’t possibly be a crueler fate than rejection. At this point, you don’t feel like yourself anymore, constantly stuck in a phase of uncertainty and hazy arousal. Your thoughts are no longer yours; they belong to Seokjin. All of your half-hearted attempts to banish him from your mind prove to be futile. By diligently trying not to think about him, you only exacerbate the problem.

Perhaps it would be wiser to simply give into your desires instead of driving yourself half-delirious with desire.

Your thumb hovers over the call button more than once. Every time something stops you, whether it be the doorbell ringing, your roommate’s dog barking, the smell of burning toast. There’s always something, always an excuse to back out instead of taking the plunge. You don’t know if these interruptions are supposed to be blessings or curses in disguise. Maybe it’s the universe’s way of telling you that calling Seokjin is a terrible idea, one that should never be acted upon.

Against the universe’s wishes, you press call. The press of your fingerprint against your screen is quick, too quick to process and too quick to take back. You stare at your phone dumbly as it rings on. It’s finally at the third ring that something akin to panic snaps inside of you. What have you done? But before you can hang up and delete the number from your call log, he picks up.

“Hello?”

Your insides clench. Your thigh burns.

“Sunbae. Hi.” You clutch the phone as you press it against your ear.

“Oh?” On the other side of the line, he perks up, sounding pleased. You can hear him move around until the background voices become muted, like he’s secluded himself to talk to you without any distractions. Knowing that he’s focusing his attention solely on you makes your heart stutter pathetically. “I was starting to think you’d never call.”

“You know who I am?” Only then do you realize you had forgotten to introduce yourself.

“I don’t give out my number often. I remember when I do.” He doesn’t even give you any time to process his words, just proceeds to shamelessly continue on, his voice dropping an octave, “I’ve never - I kept thinking about last time. I thought you would call that night.”

“Oh.” There’s a lump in your throat you struggle to swallow down. “I was - busy. Had an assignment due. Sorry.”

“Don’t. I’d expect nothing less from a good girl like you,” he chuckles. “I’m happy to talk to you now.”

Your gulp is audible. There it is again - the praise. Except this time you can’t help but feel like you don’t deserve it. If he knew what sort of salacious thoughts ran through your head all day, maybe he’d change his mind.

“I’m not.”

“What?”

“I mean.” You backtrack, voice small. “I’m not as good as you think.”

“Oh?”

You shut your eyes tight. You’re so embarrassed you might die on the spot. Never in your life have you attempted to say something so brazen. While it’s definitely not as risqué as the pick-up lines you’ve heard your peers employ, it’s so out of character that your friends would probably all freak out if they discovered that you were flirting with Seokjin - one of the most confident and self-assured people on campus, who had a good half of its population chasing after him. In other words, not only is he not in your league, but you’re way out of your depth.

Seokjin gently coaxes you out your inner ramblings by saying your name once or twice.

“Are you alone right now?” he says, his voice smoother than the fanciest silk dress.

“Yes, I’m, um... My roommate won’t be home for another hour.”

You bite your nail, wondering why you would offer that last bit of information up unprompted. In hindsight, it seems awfully forward, almost like you’re hoping for something to happen. Are you? What do you want to happen?

He hums in response. Your heartbeat doesn’t slow down. You can feel it knock against your ribs, shaking your core.

“An hour is—” you stop yourself before you can finish. Can you really say this?

“Is?” Seokjin encourages.

Idly, you wonder how he’s able to do that - coax you out of your shell and get you to say things you’d normally never dare utter. Maybe hiding behind a phone call makes you reckless and brave. There’s no one present to witness you make a fool of yourself. No one except for Seokjin - but he’s been nothing but kind and patient.

You let out a shaky breath and steady your heart. Somehow, you know that even if you still lack the skills to pull this off, Seokjin will refrain from poking fun at you. That piece of knowledge is enough to steel your nerves and give you the final push you need.

“Is an hour enough to play with me?”

A more experienced girl would’ve made the phrase sound seductive and enticing. Your clumsy attempt is evidently less alluring than what you’d been aiming for but Seokjin, surprisingly, seems affected all the same.

He exhales sharply before chuckling, the rumbling sound doing strange things to your insides. “Cute.”

Cute? You’d been hoping for ‘sexy’.

“What are you wearing right now?”

The question catches you off-guard. You glance down and frown at the sight. You’d thrown on an old pair of shorts and a tank top as soon as you’d gotten home. Should you lie and say you’d worn a sheer negligee instead? You don’t want to ruin Seokjin’s fantasy but you have a feeling that even if you fibbed, you’d be found out in an instant.

“It’s really nothing special...” You squirm, limbs twisting in the sheets as you try to find a more comfortable position. Talking with Seokjin makes you restless. “Just a tank top and shorts. Ah, but—”

You worry your bottom lip between your teeth. Maybe it won’t make a difference but you have nothing to lose at this point, right?

“I’m not - I don’t have a bra on.” In the back of your mind, you’re grateful Seokjin can’t see how flustered you are right now. You’re certain his presence would have made it worse.

There’s a brief silence, too long for your liking, before Seokjin finally speaks up.

“You said you wanted to play a game with me?”

“Yes.” Your throat feels dry. Although you suspect he already knows, you do your best not to gulp too loudly, unwilling to make your nervousness apparent.

Not even a week ago, you’d been just another girl he knew who admired him from afar. Too shy to strike up an actual conversation with him, you’d been content with attending the same class together. Who would’ve known you’d be here on the phone with him now? The idea is so surreal that you’re tempted to pinch yourself awake.

“Good. Why don’t you go ahead and tell me why you’ve been a bad girl?”

Coming from anyone else, the words would have made you cringe. You suppose that’s the main difference between you and him - he actually has the suaveness to pull such acts off.

“Well—” You can do this. You wet your bottom lip, aware of how chapped your lips are - nothing like Seokjin’s plump mouth, pink and lush. “I’ve been - I’ve thought about you a lot.”

“I’m flattered.” He sounds smug and not all that surprised. “What were you thinking of?”

“I -” A shiver runs down your back. “Just. You know.”

“If you want to play, you have to follow my rules,” he says gravely. “Tell me what you were thinking of unless you want to see how I deal with bad girls.”

Your eyes widen. Secretly, the promise of punishment excites you terribly.  

Seokjin catches on and laughs, short and airy. “You that interested in finding out?”

“I’m - no.”

He hums in reply. “Tell you what - if you really want to find out, I can show you. But I think you’ll find that the rewards I give are much sweeter than my punishments.”

You stretch your toes, silently weighing the pro and the cons. A selfish part of you wants it all - the rewards, the praise, the punishment, everything. You’d take whatever he’s willing to give, like a glutton with no notion of moderation.

“I thought of your fingers. And, um, I thought of them touching me. Under my skirt. Like last time, b-but —” Your fingers played with the wrinkles of your loose shorts. “Higher.”

Seokjin makes a pleased noise that vibrates low in his throat. “Good girl. Tell me more. Did you think of me touching your pussy in class, hm? Is the thought of me playing with your pussy in front of all our classmates what gets you wet?”

You moan, the sound surprising yourself. In the privacy of your shared bedroom, you close your eyes and let his crude words wash over you. Your underwear feels sticky already, and you rub your thighs together, hoping that it’ll somewhat alleviate the throbbing ache between your legs.

“That’s it, isn’t it?” Seokjin groans, and with the phone pressed up against your ear, it feels like he’s right next to you.

“Yes.” Arousal clouds your mind and makes confessing easier. “I’d let you play with my pussy all you want.”

“Is that so? You’d let me use you? Be my good toy?”

“Yes!” You agree greedily. “Please?”

“Are your nipples hard? Can you see them through your shirt?”

You glance down, and, sure enough, your nipples are visible through the thin tank top. You tell him so, happy to listen to him groan in approval.

“When we end this call, be my good girl and send me a picture. I want to see you with your shirt still on, all horny from the thought of me playing with your pussy in public. God, that’s hot.”

“Sunbae.” One of your hands tentatively reach for the waistband of your shorts. “Can I - can you give me permission to touch myself?”

“Lose the shorts,” he agrees.

You hurriedly comply, wondering if he’s also going to touch himself. Or maybe he’s already getting himself off? The thought makes your cunt clench.

“Bend your legs and spread them wide for me.” He waits until you’ve assured him you’re in the position he wants. “Good kitten. Is your pussy wet? You can touch yourself but only over your panties.”

“Ugh, fuck.” Your legs twitch as you slide your fingers along your clothed slit. “There’s a wet patch. Ah!”

You’d always been sensitive, but never to this degree. You feel like you could cum from the slightest touch to your clit.

“You sound like you’re close. You must really love the idea of my fingers fucking your wet, little pussy. What would your classmates say if they found out such a sweet, shy little kitten was playing slut in the back of the classroom? Hm? They’d turn around and see you spreading your legs wide for me, riding my fingers desperately while wishing it was my cock instead.”

He paints the picture with such ease that you can’t help but wonder if he’s thought about it before - secluded in the back of the classroom, his fingers stuffed deep in your pussy as you struggle to muffle your sounds of pleasure.

“Oh, oh, I—” Your fingers dug into your sodden underwear as you imagined yourself in that scenario. Shit. Your fantasies seem tame in comparison to the filth coming out of his mouth.

“Gonna cum hard for me, kitten?” He asks. “What is it that’s pushed you over the edge? The thought of me using your pussy? The promise of my cock filling you up afterwards? Or is it the idea of everyone finding out that you’re not a good girl, but a desperate little slut who likes to be fucked in public?”

Maybe - maybe it’s all three. You don’t have time to analyze what the answer is. Seokjin barely finishes his sentence before your body seizes up in a long, hard orgasm that leaves the ends of your toes tingling. Your back arches off the bed, your hard nipples straining against the cotton material of your top. Through it all, you think you might’ve heard Seokjin reach completion, but you’re so wracked with pleasure you can’t be sure.

The haze doesn’t lift right away. You hear Seokjin’s heavy breathing in your ear and with your eyes closed it almost feels like he’s laying right here with you. Honestly, you don’t know what tomorrow will bring - if this game can continue or not. If he’d been serious about a next time. You know, however, that for you nothing will be the same as before. You can never go back to silently pinning after the popular upperclassman. Now that you’ve had a taste of him, you fear you’ve become addicted.  

[justimajin]

A Lone Wolf’s Howl ☾ Part 9

⇾ Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

⇾ Genre: Angst, Fluff, Action, Eventual Smut

↳ Werewolf AU

⇾ Words: 3k

⇾ Warnings: more angst but with a touch of fluff

⇾ Summary: Jungkook and you have been like two peas in a pod for the majority of your lives; whether it was going through the ups of downs of the horrid teenage change, to transitioning to the racing world of attempting to be adults. Simply put, you’ve been inseparable and glued to each other’s sides longer than you can remember. But one fateful day seems to completely change everything you had faith in and you begin to wonder if there was ever a time where you and your best friend even knew each other’s true colors.

⇾ Moodboard Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

You can’t seem to recall how long you were in the same spot, Jungkook holding onto you as tears kept streaming down your eyes. It was like you had just opened up Pandora’s box, hoping that taking the daunting step forward to do so would grant you more solace about what had happened to your parents, but instead, you’re only met with a swarm of information that hits you in the wrong way. 

Within the impending silence of the room, Jungkook speaks up, “I knew you hated werewolves more than anything, but I didn’t know about your parents.” He sighs, leaning away from you and attempting to look into your silver eyes, “I thought they were still alive.”

You shake your head, wiping away a fallen tear, “I knew telling you about them would reveal my identity as a slayer, but-“ A frown settles on your lips and you wonder how you could have been even more wrong when you were so sure of yourself, “I never expected Namjoon to say that it wasn’t possible.” 

“You saw werewolves, right?” You nod and he sighs, shaking his head, “It doesn’t add up Y/N. Rogue werewolves are a rarity these days, I can’t even remember the last time I saw one.” 

You shift closer to him, “What are rogues exactly? Namjoon mentioned them but I don’t think I’ve ever heard about anything like that.” Your mind shifts back to your training, not being able to put a knowing finger on if it was ever brought up to you. 

“They’re like werewolves, but in a constant feral state.” Jungkook explains, “They have no sense of identity or direction and they just attack whoever they see.” 

“Like a zombie?” 

Jungkook chuckles, “Weird comparison but yeah. Imagine the zombies from a Train to Busan except they have claws and weigh a ton.” 

You softly smile at that, but then your lips pursue, “Hey Jungkook.” 

“Hm?” 

“Could I ask you a question?” 

“Go for it.” 

“Do you…“ Your voice fades and you sigh, squeezing your eyes shut, “Do you…hate me?”

Jungkook turns around, frowning, “Why would I hate you?”

“Because I put you through so much.” You exhale, “When I found out your identity, I hated the idea of you being a werewolf and then you got injured because of me…” Your eyes trail over to the healing wound on his side, “And now just knowing that everything I’ve been taught since I was little could be wrong, I-“ 

“Y/N.” Jungkook softly calls your name, causing your wide eyes to look up at him when you go silent, “You’re my best friend and mate before you’re even a slayer in my eyes. That’s not going to change.”

There’s a warm look residing in his eyes and you nod, feeling a bit relieved after all you’ve gone through. However, his words spark a peek of curiosity within you, making you wonder even more, “Can I ask you another question?” 

He nods, “What is mating? Like the process and such?” You sigh, “I wasn't really told anything about it.” 

“Oh.” Jungkook suddenly becomes a deer in headlights and the room plunges into a brief silence as you can catch glimpses of red rapidly scattering over his cheeks. You raise an inquiring eyebrow at that, until something sparks in your eyes and you point it out with a small laugh. 

“Jungkook, are you blushing?��

“What?! Of course not!” He suddenly gets up, startling you a bit when he paces around the room and doesn’t make any eye contact with you. You rise as well, wondering if perhaps you shouldn’t have asked in the first place if he was going to react in such a way. 

You smile, “You’re blushing.” 

“I’m not!” 

“Jungkook, I’ve known you for years.” You draw closer to him, tilting your head and getting a perfect view of his completely flushed features. “You know you can’t hide from me.” 

Jungkook stares at you, like he knew what you were saying was right despite him turning away. He sighs, attempting to collect himself so he can at least explain it somewhat decently well to you. 

“M-Mating happens when a wolf claims someone through a bite.” He gestures over to your neck, yet still dares not to look at you, “And the process,” He sighs, catching a glimpse of your clueless eyes, “is complete when the wolf claims his mate entirely.” 

“Entirely?” 

Jungkook simply nods and you contemplate about it, thinking his words actually confused you more than clarifying things. “I don’t think I follow…” 

You move closer, reaching out a hand to place onto his shoulder so you can properly meet his eyes when he speaks to you rather than getting a collection of muffled words in return. He instantly flinches, moving away from you and causing you to misinterpret the gap when you’re suddenly stumbling forward. 

“Are you okay?!” He asks, spinning around immediately when he saw your form falling down and you nod, still amused by the slight pink still blooming along his skin when you begin to piece together the answer. 

Since he’s finally facing you, you decide to tread closer onto the thin ice, “If wolves initially claim their mates with a bite,” You bring your fingers to the side of your neck and his eyes linger against the column, “Then they probably need to claim more to be fully mated right?” 

He just nods, not trusting his voice at all when you move closer to him and smile, taking your best shot at the true implication hidden within his explanation, “So we have to spend the night together?” 

Suddenly you’re falling again, heading face forward onto the ground. Your hands shoot out, breaking your fall instantly a mere inch away from the hard floor. 

“Jungkook!” You harshly whisper and he immediately leans down, assisting you in getting up as a string of apologies escape his lips. 

“Sorry…” His voice contorts, attempting to get a hold on himself and letting out a deep sigh, “You’re right. That’s the process.” 

Once you get up, he stares at you intently, like he was watching how you would react or what you would say, if you would say anything at all. 

“I see…” 

“You don’t have to!” Jungkook immediately clarifies, “It’s part of the process and it’s new for you but I’m not going to push you into anything an-“ 

“But you did claim me.” 

“Well, that was because- “ 

“You couldn’t bear seeing me with Jimin?” 

A giggle blooms out from your throat and Jungkook just glares at you, shedding off all the nervousness he was feeling in an instant. “I was actually going to say wolf instincts.” 

“Right, right.” You smile, “Keep telling yourself that.” 

Jungkook looks at you in disbelief and just as he about to retort something back, the door opens and a serious Yoongi enters the room. 

“Hey, we got our hands on some new information. We need the hybrid to come.” 

“Her name is Y/N Hyung.” 

He shrugs, “Y/N. Hybrid. Same thing.” 

You roll your eyes at that and gesture for Jungkook to come along with you. He obliges and you close the door, trailing after Yoongi who brings you to the library. 

Jungkook walks next to you and you smile, everything slowly falling back into place and filling you with a sense of relief that you haven’t lost the ability to talk to him normally anymore. Even though it was only for a moment, you’re glad that in the midst of all that was going on, it didn’t fade away. 

You enter the room with a grin, not realizing that the small bubble of happiness you had managed to create was going to burst. 

***

Namjoon sits on the opposite end of the doorway, leaning back into his seat as his finger mindlessly taps against his chin. The door softly opens, and his concentrated gaze is transferred over to it, watching you and Jungkook enter into the room with expectant eyes. 

“You had called for me?” You seat yourself down next to Namjoon and he nods, but you notice how his eyes intensify with every passing moment. 

You’re aren’t sure what to expect. Learning that your parents weren’t killed by the very thing you’ve chosen to hunt was a harsh blow. You had seen it with your own eyes and unless you were hallucinating at the time, it doesn’t seem to connect any of the lingering dots. However, it does beg the one question that has been swimming endlessly within the confines of your mind. 

What did happen to your parents?

“We track every single one of our moves, keeping records to carefully strategize with our pack as well as neighbouring packs.” Namjoon reaches out and Yoongi enters the room to hand him a collection of letters which he places in front of you. “I’ve spoken to all of their Alpha’s and none of them have records pertaining to an attack on a family.” 

You furrow your brows and Namjoon continues, “We kept investigating and I talked to one Alpha in particular.” He slides a letter over to you, gesturing for you to open it, “His pack had history with the Crimson Clan, specifically the Elder.” 

You take the enveloped paper, carefully tearing the opening and sliding the letter out. There are intricate swirls all around it similar to the designs on the rooms you have seen, however, this one had blue instead of gold printed on it. Looking down, you see the initials JB on the bottom. 

“Jaebum had informed me of encountering the Elder when she used her slayer skills in a fight against him.” Namjoon explains as your eyes continue to grow wider with every inked word you read, “He managed to overcome her, however shortly after there were more and more sightings of her from his members.” 

“She began to attack his clan repeatedly after that, with a higher number of slayers by her side every time. It was confusing for Jaebum because slayers weren’t needed as much at the time and seeing their numbers suddenly grow alarmed him.” 

“After some investigating had been done by his pack, it was discovered that the elder had been collecting slayers.” Namjoon says, “Recruiting as many as she could to create a new clan of her own.” 

“The Crimson Clan.” You whisper and Namjoon nods. 

“Still, creating such a large clan on her own isn’t easy to accomplish, so our assumption is that she had something else helping her. Something a lot more powerful and something that would listen to her commands without hesitation. Almost like–“ 

“A zombie.” You finish, eyes growing hollower by the minute with Namjoon’s words. 

“Correct.” Namjoon states and you swallow hard, feeling Jungkook stiffen next to you. 

You want to stop. You don’t want to keep questioning her motives or her beliefs, but its stinging you, a pricking sensation that makes you just want to rip the bandage off already. “These slayers, that the Elder ‘collected’,” You take in a deep breath, “What do you think her end purpose for them was?” 

You know asking Namjoon for an opinion is the last thing you ever wanted to do, however that fine line of what was right and wrong is starting to blur even more in your mind and you don’t know which is which anymore. 

“I’m not too sure.” Namjoon truthfully says, brows contorting and thoughts searching to give you an answer that would ease the violent spike ensuring inside you, “If she really had such powerful forces on her side, then it begs the question of why she even thought to collect so many slayers.” 

“Maybe it was to recreate the once faded slayer population again. Maybe it was because the rogue population was starting to emerge. There’s various reasons as to why she took the decision, but considering as to what slayers hunt, it does lead to one thought in my mind.”

Namjoon somberly gazes at you, like he knew that you had the same thought too and it wasn’t his place to bring it into light.

You clench your teeth, gloss spreading over your eyes as you glance down at your feet. Letting out a shaky breath, you say it. 

“She needed weapons.” 

Namjoon doesn’t respond, simply sinks back into his chair and stares at you with apologetic eyes. It’s like he was trying to prevent the whole conversation from happening until the chain of events from his research had led into it and his expression tells you that he ultimately didn’t want the truth to hurt you in any way. You appreciate it sincerely, however knowing the truth was something you had greatly pushed upon and needed to know no matter what. 

You just wish it didn’t feel so horrible. 

Namjoon immediately senses the atmosphere thankfully and he gestures to Jungkook to take you back to your room. Jungkook nods, holding your shoulders carefully with his hands and you let him, not having will in you left anymore when you become as limp as a doll. 

***

Grabbing onto the glass from the table, Jungkook pours water into it and turns around, seeing you seated on your bed silently with your gaze fixated on the ground. He walks away, quietly sitting down next to you and offers you the glass, which you gladly accept with a weak smile. 

The silence dips in as you bring the glass to your mouth, taking a few gulps and then keeping the empty glass in your hands, occasionally smoothing your fingers over the similar design that’s on the door and the hallways. 

Jungkook just watches you, his eyes not moving away but seemingly diving more and more into concern.

You take a deep breath, but before you can say anything, he beats you to it, “…sorry.” 

You frown and glance over to him, noticing him fidgeting with his sleeves now instead of the prolonged eye contact he was having with you before, “Why are you apologizing?” 

“Because you would have been fine if you didn’t know.” He looks up, a remorseful smile on his lips, but you know his words go far past then your current situation, “Sometimes not knowing can save a person from the truth.” 

You nod but then a bitter smile crosses your features, “Sometimes not knowing can leave your whole life feeling like a lie.” Your eyes drift over to the glass in your hands again, carefully craving over the ridges with your fingertips, “And instead of fighting for someone else, you would have fought for the people you really care about.” 

“But you did care.” Jungkook intervenes right away, leaning closer to you, “You cared about the Elder and that’s what you were fighting for.” 

“So that I could forget the people I really wanted to fight for?” You turn to him with wet eyes, not being capable of holding it back anymore, “My parents, I thought they were killed by werewolves this entire time, but to find out that was all a lie, that I was fighting for the wrong cause when all I wanted to do was the right thing.” 

Jungkook nods, intently listening to you but you chuckle, looking up at him, “And you. Fighting against you, my best friend. Someone I want to fight for, never against.” 

Jungkook stares at you but you can see the warmth cascading slowly through his eyes, like they had been genuinely wanting to hear those words. He doesn’t say anything though, letting you have a moment to process all of these thoughts. 

“To know the result of all this could be her.” You bite down on your lip, harshly contorting your features, “It makes my blood boil.” 

“Then decide.”

A deep voice beckons you from the doorway and you turn to see Namjoon standing with his arms crossed, leaning against the wall. He pushes himself off and walks closer, glancing at you with challenging eyes. “You’ve been torn, haven’t you? Of where you stand now?” 

Your eyes widen from his observation and for a moment, you wonder how transparent you’ve exactly been. 

Namjoon speaks again when your silence only responds back to him, “Y/N.” 

You look up when he calls for you, “Despite whichever you choose, we will help you.” 

Namjoon states the words like a promise that won’t ever be broken, and you stare at him in surprise, wondering how he was able to even suggest helping you when the very idea of not joining them meant your own demise. 

“Why…why would you do that?” You ask out of mere disbelief and curiosity, but his answer takes you by even more surprise. 

“Although we don’t know the full story,” Namjoon pauses, shaking his head in disapproval, “No one deserves to be conditioned in such a way regardless. Be it slayer or wolf.”

You nod, a collection of thoughts soaring inside your mind at his words. Jungkook places a hand against your shoulder and you turn to meet eyes with him, faintly smiling when you know he’s telling you that he agrees with Namjoon. 

No matter what side you choose. 

They will help you. 

You’re thankful, however in the past few days, you’ve been exposed to a lot of new information you didn’t even think was possible. You second-guessed yourself and you were forced to face some hard truths, for it to lead up to this single moment. 

Standing up, you walk over to Namjoon with firm steps, silver eyes darkening when the decision you’ve made has come to light and there’s nothing more that you want then to see it take place. 

Looking Namjoon straight in the eyes, the words you utter not only throw him completely off guard, they startle your best friend as well. 

“What would it take to destroy an entire clan?” 

[carabas]

So I’ve just finished reading the Dragon Age Tevinter Nights anthology, and short reaction: enjoyably hit and miss right up until that final extremely thorough direct hit, thank you Patrick Weekes.

Much, much longer version:

1. I don’t know how reasonable it is to try to extrapolate about what’s going to be in the next game based on a random short story collection, but hey, the novels that came out before DAI were about the mage rebellion, the Orlesian civil war, and eluvians, so.

So things I’m now expecting to see in the next game, aside from the Tevinter-Qunari conflict and Solas of course: Nevarran necromancy, Antivan Crows, Wardens who are struggling with decimated numbers after DAO and DAI (would be the perfect time for Razikale and Lusacan to both wake up at once really), and the Lords of Fortune, a never-before-mentioned Rivaini treasure hunting organization which appeared in I think three different stories here. 

Plus a few stories were very much signalling This Specific New Character Will Be Showing Up Again, whether in the games or elsewhere; I'll be shocked if Lucanis the “Demon,” reluctant heir apparent of the Antivan Crows who just got into a cliffhanger conflict with a Tevinter magister, doesn’t have more to do.

2. THERE IS A MAP, there is a great big fantasy map surrounded by nifty little illustrative details to poke at.

There’s a label reading “White Spire,” not in Val Royeaux, but on a mountain beyond the Arlathan Forest. Is that an error or is there really a White Spire mountain? If not an error, has it always been named that or is that new, possibly a new center for the mages after the war, after the original Spire fell? At no point is either Spire mentioned in this book aside from this map.

Lots of astrological sun and moon patterns prominently featured around the edges. Is that one moon chart depicting moon phases or an eclipse? Is it too conspiracy theory of me to be counting the nine dark moons (or spheres? like in that DA4 idol illustration’s seven slots?) on the dragon’s wing? Probably. Or are those spheres a reference to the second moon that never seems to actually be visible, is that missing moon actually deliberate. 

Most of the astrological charts are fairly straightforwardly showing sun/moon phases but what is the crowned figure in the one on the lower right meant to represent? The Maker? What’s going on with the horizontal lines passing through it/behind it? The two moons beneath it - is that an illustration of the moon in two phases or being separated into two (metaphorical moon in that case, presumably), do those horizontal lines also indicate separation, do I need to move on from the astrological depictions here, definitely.

Love the big horseshoe crab sea monster.

3. Patrick Weekes’s first story in the collection: halla shapeshifting! An elf named Strife who I fully expected to be revealed as an agent of Fen’harel mimicking ancient elven names like Sorrow and Pride, though I was wrong - would it be charming or just annoyingly unsubtle if that became a thing among his agents. An ancient forest guardian with lyrium blades who hunts magic in a way that struck me an awful lot like a forest-themed equivalent of a golem, though I may be wildly off base with that one.

4. Nevarran necromancy story. An odd bit of the chant to highlight for a funeral: “And the Maker, clad in the majesty of the sky, set foot to earth, and at His touch all warring ceased.” I continue to squint suspiciously at overlaps between Maker and elven god imagery. Also, evidently mortalitasi believe that when someone dies, an inhuman spirit is pushed out from the Fade into the physical world, and that’s part of the reason behind their housing spirits in bodies - neat! The existence of Curiosity spirits, also neat!

5. Is Ghilan’nain’s horrible body horror place supposed to be spelled Hormak like in the title and previous canon references, or Hormok like throughout the text here? I know this was just a mistake but maybe I’ll use this to say that in-world there’s multiple ways of transliterating Dwarven.

6. Lukas Kristjanson story #1, the one featuring approximately a million minor Inquisition character cameos and a meditation on Solas’s regrets, introduces a character with the phrase “free mage by special commendation,” and I was briefly thrown by that little signal that we are Not In My Worldstate, that the mages aren’t all free by default - except then the story went on to destroy Solas’s fresco so I wound up quite grateful for that little heads up that this isn’t my worldstate actually.

(Unfortunately I can’t get into this guy’s writing style at all, which is a shame because it’s one of the big Solas stories in the book.)

7. There’s a little plot point in the Wigmaker Job story that demonstrates those elven artifacts Solas had us activate all over Thedas do indeed strengthen the Veil - like, he wasn’t lying to us about what those orbs do, that is how they work, here we see a Crow stab one in order to deactivate it, weaken the Veil and unleash a horde of vengeful demons. Nice confirmation.

8. Genitivi is the Randy Dowager. (Possibly. At least, Philliam wrote a scene in which Genitivi alludes to being the Randy Dowager. I do appreciate an unreliable narrator but after a certain point it does make the lore hard to keep straight.)

9. By the time we got to the story about adventurers stealing an incredibly powerful healing amulet just to donate it to a mysterious contact at a makeshift hospital trying to help people where the Qunari-Tevinter war has spilled over, I knew better than to expect any cameos from DAO/DA2 characters. And with the mention of the squire, I was pretty sure the mysterious contact was going to be Vaea, and it was. Still. Anders would approve. And for a moment I was fantasizing that it would turn out to be him, or connected to him. A new mental setting for him and Hawke post-mage-freedom - makeshift hospitals at the edge of the invasion, secretly sponsored by a certain pair of absurdly overpowered, dungeon-crawling, treasure-hunting fugitives.

Yes, my Dragon Age interpreting is still all about Anders even when he’s not remotely present.

10. You know, I really expected the leaders of the Crows to be a bit more ruthlessly competent than this. Someone is setting up a grand demonstration, recreating infamous historical assassinations carried out by the Crows but now with the leaders of the Crows themselves as the victims, incredibly flashy, incredibly clearly sending a message, and yet not one of the characters trying to figure out whodunit is speculating about the meaning behind that message??? the motive in going to all that trouble??? it’s all, hm, perhaps it’s the qunari invaders. hm, this one was posed with a pearl necklace just like the one in the historical murder it’s recreating, i bet the culprit owns a pearl-fishing business! I know they’re assassins not detectives but at least show the professional courtesy of paying attention to the message in the show your fellow assassin is putting on for you, geez.

Anyway. Interesting Crow details: they talked about neutral ground and territories divided between the Crow households here, does that just apply to Antiva or like, does Arainai have claim to all jobs in Ferelden? 

And the line “Teia's back was bare except for a tattoo marking her as a member of House Cantori” puts Zevran’s tattoos in a slightly different light for me - he’s mentioned that some symbols are sacred to the Crows, and logically it follows that having that symbol tattooed on him would indeed mark him as a Crow to other people in the know, but that his tattoos mark him as belonging to House Arainai is a thing that did not hit me from that.

11. An agent of Fen’harel muttering “Felassan” to activate a rune. In memoriam? Charming. I mean it’s a rune that’s intended to kill an entire city, so possibly the more literal slow arrow is meant, but I’m still charmed.

12. PATRICK WEEKES CLOSING OUT THE BOOK BY JUST DUMPING THE CONTINUING DREAD WOLF HUNT PLOT ON US. 

So much. 

An actual giant wolf in the Fade, I’m so happy for tumblr user corseque. 

A character again raising the possibility that Solas is not an ancient elf but rather a young elf who stumbled onto old magic, a theory I thought debunked by Trespasser but here we are considering it again. 

A minor side note that a lot of Kirkwall’s templars went rogue after the explosion - that’s not relevant to the post-DAI plot really, I’m just noting it for my generally-DA2-focused fanfic purposes. 

The possibility that somniari (presumably) can kill even dwarves who don’t dream in their sleep. Somniari in general or did Solas personally step in here?

A ritual involving the red lyrium idol resulting in the phrase “As if we were the blood and the cavern the body through which it flowed” right before the POV character enters the Fade, which is a rather Titan-esque turn of phrase. 

The Dread Wolf again asserting that all creation is in danger and he’s trying to fix that. A biased POV character recognizing that, huh, funny how those spirits around the Dread Wolf which surely must be demons actually look an awful lot like Justice and Valor. 

And Charter’s notes at the end, so direct, not only spelling out the new details on the idol for us (that the figure represents a crowned figure comforting another) but thoroughly hitting us over the head with Solas’s essential characterization in his own words, as if Weekes is still trying to clear up any possible lingering misinterpretations there. (Prideful, hotheaded, foolish. Doing what he must. Sympathetic to elves. Said that he was sorry.)

And the quiet simplicity of Solas coming to this meeting of spies in person because, pause, “...the Inquisition was involved,” written in such a way that you could read all sorts of things into that pause, whatever the Inquisition and the Inquisitor might mean to him.

The book would have been worth reading for this last story alone, what a note to end on.

[grandtheftstarship]

I Will Spend My Whole Life Loving You (Spock x Fem!Reader) [Request!]

“Fic Request: Spock x Fem!Reader (Vulcan/Human hybrid) go on a romantic date!”

”Headcanon or Fic Request: fem!Reader being married to Spock!”

“Request: Spock x Human-Vulcan Fem!Reader get married on the Enterprise. Preferably TOS Spock please.”

- @sovereignoblivious

Hi there! Thank you for requesting :) I decided to mash these all into one since they are all kind of similar. I hope you don’t mind! Also, I write for mainly AOS but nothing really distinguishes it from TOS so you can imagine it taking place in TOS if you would like! I also totally forgot about the vulcan/human hybrid until I was about 1k words in, so if it’s not as well represented I’m so sorry!! I tried to fit it in as best I could :(

I wrote this like a recap of your relationship with Spock, so there’s not much dialogue. I tried to be as detailed as possible!

Also, sorry for the lack of updates... the school year just ended and I went on vacation for two weeks to visit my family in Hawai’i! I had no wifi for nearly 10 days and let me tell you it was AWFUL. Haha. I’m so glad to be home. The rest of this summer will hopefully be full of updates! Keep the requests coming!

ALSO, THANK YOU GUYS FOR THE FOLLOWS!!!!! I gained 20 more followers while I was away! I love you all so much :D!!!

Word Count: 2377 Warnings: fluff, swearing, mentions of self-harm/self-loathing

Send a request!

You had absolutely hated Spock at first. Boiling, raw, pure hatred for him, even though your reasons were unfair and you knew it. 

Your initial thought was to just avoid him as much as possible, but that plan was eventually foiled when you realized how difficult that was going to be when he was in almost all of your classes, his dorm was literally directly across the street (like you could look out your window and see right through his window, how you both happened to be on the 17th floor in separate buildings and the same room number was beyond you) and you saw him probably more than ten times a day. 

He was there on the walk to class in the morning, there during class, there during lunch hour, even there sometimes on the walk home after class. Once you thought it couldn’t get any worse, your professors started pairing the two of you for group projects. When you asked why, all of their answers ran along the same lines: ‘You both need to learn to get along’ or ‘You could learn a lot from each other’ and other shit like that. You started getting suspicious when you suddenly had four projects assigned with him as your partner. You asked your friends about it when you were getting frustrated and all they did was share a look between each other and shrug. When you and Spock set a date to finally start working on all of your projects, you started dreading it. You found yourself lingering around, whether it be to ask a professor a question that you already knew the answer to after class was over or staying late at the library so that you wouldn't have to go to bed and wake up the next morning, a whole day closer to doomsday. You tried to tell yourself that the reason you were doing that was because you hated him and didn’t want to be around him for any amount of time, but when the familiar burning sensation you always felt when thinking of him started morphing into something else you got scared. The change startled you, suddenly feeling self-conscious and unsure as opposed to your typically confident nature. It was all so new and it was especially frightening when you didn’t have enough time to unpack it before your workday with Spock, so, instead of dealing with it, you tried to push it all down.  

When the day finally came, it took every ounce of willpower you had to roll out of bed and get dressed. It was a Saturday so you didn’t need to be dressed in uniform, so you went with some black sweats that had ‘STARFLEET’ written down one side and a  [f/c] tank top. It was a little chilly outside, so you threw your favorite hoodie on as you walked out the door. You tied your hair back in the elevator, careful to leave enough down to cover your ears, put your keycard into the side pocket of your backpack and you started the walk to the campus library. 

If there was one thing you were most self-conscious about it was your Vulcan ears. You didn’t like your Vulcan side as much because of your father. He was half-Vulcan half-human, while you were three-quarters human and only one-fourth Vulcan. You were glad you only inherited the ears, not the eyebrows. You and your father didn’t have the best relationship, or any relationship at all, really, and you never knew why. He was often strict and unfeeling, never exercising his human side in front of you. He left when you were eight years old for a Vulcan science mission and never came back. Your mother still loved him, though you never saw him show any sign of affection back. You always believed your mother deserved better, and that was when your hatred for Vulcans started to manifest. Starting with yourself. 

A few years after he left you fell into a dark place, although you were exceptional at hiding it. You would often stare at your sharply pointed ears in the mirror and pull on them, hoping that if you pulled hard enough from the bottom they would even out. You would wear earmuffs year-round so that nobody would see. When you were fifteen, you snuck out and got them pierced several times so that they would appear more human. They also compelled you to become more emotional to appear less like your father. 

You shook yourself out of your reverie as you walked out of the front entrance of your building. 

Luckily for you, Spock was not walking down the opposite sidewalk so you slid your headphones under your hood over your ears and shuffled your playlist. The walk was much shorter than you would’ve preferred and you sauntered up the steps into the vast hall. Since everybody was off, the library was used more as a hangout area than a quiet study hall, save for the actual study hall in the back, so it was a bit louder than usual. 

You spotted Spock sitting at one of the smaller open tables next to one of the windows overlooking the grounds. The fluttery-anxious feeling was back again, causing you to swallow hard as you approached him. 

“Hey,” you called as he looked up from the window. 

“Hey,” he greeted, somewhat awkwardly. Setting your backpack down, you sat down across from him. He was wearing casual clothes too; a plain green sweater and some jeans, though you thought it was cute how he still wore his badge. You shut your eyes tightly and cursed yourself. 

I don’t think he looks cute, I don’t think he looks cute, I don’t think he looks cute-

“[y/n], are you feeling alright?” he asked. 

You opened your eyes and glared at him. 

“Fine, just mentally preparing,” you snapped. 

He did what you could only assume was his version of an eye roll, but what surprised you was the flicker of a smile that passed over his features. It was only there for a fraction of a second, but your cheeks reddened as your heart raced.

What is happening to me?

“Would you like to begin?” he started pulling out papers and you gulped.

This was going to be a long day.

Surprisingly, that wasn’t the case. You had never really sat down and talked with Spock before, and to your astonishment, he was a really cool person. You both talked for hours, barely getting any work done, and before you knew it the library was empty and it was almost nine pm. You packed up your things and headed back towards your dorms you continued to talk and he continued to make you laugh and once you made it to the front entrance of your building you couldn’t even remember why you had hated him in the first place. 

You smiled and told him goodnight, feeling the heat creep up on your cheeks. You swore that you saw his own cheeks tint green. You both stared back at each other for a moment, feeling yourself gravitate towards each other for a brief second before you realized what you were doing and leaned back a little. He bid you goodnight and with the tiniest little smile you had ever seen, he turned away and crossed the street. You shook yourself out of your daze and hurried inside, texting your friends to meet you asap in your dorm. Even though it was late, you knew your friends and their Saturday night habits. 

You asked them about Spock again, this time a little less aggressively. They looked shocked at your calm, almost lovestruck expression settled over your features, glancing worriedly between themselves. 

Your friends were there for hours talking with you about your feelings and how you were to deal with them until you all fell asleep. They told you that this was just a case of misinterpretation of feelings, so when you felt so strongly towards Spock you mistook it for hatred when it was really admiration and infatuation. The confirmed that the same thing had happened to Spock, though he had realized much sooner. When you asked them what that meant, they dropped the bombshell on you.

“[y/n],” [friend’s name] said gently. “Spock has been smitten with you since midterms. Almost everyone knows, except for you apparently.”

You sat and stared for a minute, unsure how to react. Giddiness rose above all the other emotions you were feeling, forcing a smile to form on your lips. You felt all choked up, excitement raising your heartrate and slowly taking away your ability to breathe.

“So, even the teachers know?” you managed to force out. Your friends chuckled. 

The teachers assumed something was going on, but didn’t know for sure since you acted so hostile towards him all the time so they went out of their way to pair you and Spock together. 

You thanked your friends and invited them to stay the night. 

The next day you had planned to work with Spock again, so you left your friends a note and told them they could stay as long as they liked as long as they locked the door before they left. 

You met Spock at the library again but this time you actually did get some work done, and quickly. When you both finished, you packed your things and took a walk around the grounds. You talked all day about random things, interests, favorites, childhood (you tried your best to leave out the part about your father) and a little bit about your hopes for the future. You did most of the talking, though Spock did contribute on occasion, like he talked a bit about his love (or as he put it, ‘subtle interest’ but you knew better) for music and his passion for science.  

Hours passed quickly and the sunset came quickly. You and Spock were sat on a grassy slope overlooking the San Fransisco Bay, watching the sunset. 

“[y/n], I have something to confess,” he broke the silence. You turned to him.

“Go ahead.”

“The truth of the matter is that I harbor no malice or hatred towards you,” he started, looking away from you. Even in the dim golden light from the descending sun, you could tell he was uncomfortable. “My... feelings towards you are quite the opposite.”

You stared blankly at him for a moment. Even though you had already known, hearing it come from his was a totally different story. You scooted a little closer to him and placed your head down on his shoulder. He relaxed beneath you, accepting the action as one of reciprocation. You felt his hand brush over yours and the spark that followed after confirmed a Vulcan kiss. You raised your head up to meet his eyes, which flickered between your lips and back up. You leaned in slowly to give him time to back out if he wasn’t comfortable, but to your surprise, he was the one to close the distance. 

This kiss was sweet and only lasted a few seconds. When you pulled away, you could see the tiniest hint of a smile on his lips. Your smile faded, though, when you remembered your lie. 

“I have to tell you something,” you said softly. He nodded slowly, letting you remove your hand from his light hold.

You pulled your hood back and tucked your hair behind your now exposed ear. You couldn’t look him in the eye as he stared at your earring-ridden ear that mirrored his. 

“You’re... Vulcan?” 

“A quarter,” you replied softly, wringing your hands in your lap. Spock reached out to grasp them in his own, forcing you to look back up into his eyes. 

“Why did you feel the need to hide this from me?” he asked you gently. “It would not and does not change the effect that you have on me.”

So, you explained in the waning sunlight what actually happened in your childhood and the issues with your father, why you ended up hating all Vulcans and that’s why you hated him too in the beginning. 

“You don’t need to be ashamed of your heritage because of him,” he told you when you finished. “You don’t need to hide part of who you are because of his mistakes. I can assist you in exploring our culture to help change your views if you would like.”

You threw your arms around his neck in a tight hug. 

“Thank you,” you murmured.

                                                      _____________

You and Spock stayed together for the remaining years at the academy. You brought him home to meet your mother (who instantly approved) and you did almost everything together. Date night was your favorite time of the week, which ranged from movie nights or fancy dinners. Your favorite one was when he took you out of the city to go stargazing and set up the cutest little picnic complete with lanterns and fairy lights. It was romantic and beautiful being there with him and listening to the wildlife as the stars made themselves known. He showed you all the constellations he knew of. 

Before you knew it you were both assigned on missions. At first, you were separated; you on the USS Bradbury and him on the USS Enterprise, but with some convincing, you were reassigned to the Enterprise. 

After your first run-in with danger when Nero attacked and your near-death experience, Spock decided it was time to pop the question. You were married not long after by Jim, who you had gotten very close to because of Spock. You had asked Nyota to be your maid of honor and Spock chose Leonard (who agreed despite his recurring annoyance with the Vulcan). You were awarded a larger, shared quarters and time off duty to spend time together. 

Married life was much more normal than you had originally thought it was going to be. Everything just started to slow down around you, and you always had a sense of calm whenever Spock was near you. The butterflies you always felt when he was around died down and instead you felt an overwhelming amount of safety and comfort. 

He was all you had ever wanted, and he was forever yours.

[strafethesesinners]

1-10 for cooper

Thank you!!!  (for the character headcanon meme)

1. Their physical weak spots Answered here!

2. Their emotional/moral weak spots

Emotional: although Cooper makes friends easily and quickly, he hasn’t had anyone who has been there for him in a way that he really needs for a long time. He also feels a lot of guilt for his past actions and a crafty person would probably be able to figure that out and manipulate it. Morally, Cooper has, of course, killed people although he does try to avoid it if it’s not necessary. In the past, he had a bad habit of standing by while others did awful things and he wants to make up for that, which is a big part of his motivation for helping the resistance.

3. Scars or painful spots

So I think Cooper would have some scars here and there from being shot and getting into fights and such but I haven’t really come up with any specific ones for him yet. Sorry!

4. Best places to kiss on their body

He’d say anywhere but bruh if you start kissing Cooper on his neck just under his ear (either side) he will go nuts. Collarbone is a good spot too and uh,  insides of his thighs. 

5. Guilty pleasures

John Seed lol. But really Cooper doesn’t actually feel all that guilty or ashamed about most things that make him happy (even if he sometimes should). But yeah, definitely his thing with John. 

6. Their vices (physical or emotional)

Answered!

7. Their tickle spots

Anywhere on his abdomen but especially along his hip bones. 

8. Bad memories/experiences

So I am still working on fleshing out his past life, but one would be when he failed out of college and his parents refused to let him move back home and pretty much cut off all help/contact with him. Because of that he also has had only sparse contact with his younger siblings. His parents kind of made him out to be the “crazy, drug addicted, wild brother that must be avoided at all costs” to the rest of his family, which while very much true, still kind of hurts.  Also when his small time smuggling “gang” (really more just a group of friends) started to get in way over their heads and doing more and more things Cooper wasn’t comfortable with but went along with anyway. That was a really dark few years. 

9. Humiliating memories

So it’s really hard to embarrass or humiliate Cooper now honestly. But as a kid in school he had a really hard time with math and numbers, and remembering to do homework etc. and some teachers would misinterpret this as just being stubborn and make him do problems in front of the class etc. which was always really difficult for poor Coop. He’s still a little mad about that. 

10. Fears/phobias

It’s kind of hard to explain but Cooper is afraid that he’s essentially worthless, and that he doesn’t mean anything to anyone anymore. He knows he’s useful to a lot of people but he’s afraid nobody actually cares about him for himself. 

[salmonthestoryteller]

Michael & Alcohol

I wasn't going to address this outside of my author notes for School of Hard Knocks, but then I saw a comment (not on Tumblr) that made me see red, so here we go.

Short Version: I don't view Michael as an alcoholic. I view his alcohol consumption as a mixture of unhealthy coping mechanisms and self-medicating for chronic pain (which is easy to misinterpret as addiction to someone from the outside looking in.)

There's a difference between being an addict and just plain bad life choices. They require different things for recovery - addiction is far more complicated.  And we have already been told we have two addicts that are part of the overall RNM story arc - Rosa Ortecho (who is newly resurrected) and Jim Valenti (who we will no doubt see in flashbacks).

Any and all three (Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Medication/Self-Medication, and Addiction) can overlap in reality, and therefore in storytelling as well. And if Michael becomes an addict in season 2 due to the abrupt healing of his hand, I would be okay with it.  But overall I'd much prefer a "poor life choices" story arc over a "substance addiction" plotline for Michael. It's my preference. It won't be a breaking point or anything if they choose the latter.  I'll live with it. Will I be a little disappointed? NGL, I will. But I'll live with it.

Onto the long version:

I made a mention of it in previous author notes, but since it affects my opinion I'll repeat it. YMMV, but my experience has been that drinking permeates Southwest culture in a way it doesn't other places in the USA.  Look, I am not pulling this out of thin air. I lived in the Southwest for almost twenty years. I have lived almost ten years in the PNW, and a mix of the remaining tenish years between the East Coast and Midwest. The best way I can think to phrase it is this - Drinking is part of the Party Culture in the other areas I have lived. Drinking is part of the Everyday Culture in the Southwest.

And when I watch Roswell New Mexico, I see that portrayed.  I see it in the way there is scene after scene of social drinking.  I see it in the way that alcohol is used as a coping mechanism by pretty much every character.  I see it in the way that it’s casually mentioned Arturo has a tequila stash.  I see it in the way drinking is not treated negatively - as I have seen it done by shows in the past - but treated as just something people do.  They have their hearts broken and they have a drink.  They have an argument with their friends or family and they have a drink.  Their lives were just in danger, time for a drink. They get off work for the day and they - guess what? - have a drink.  

This is why “Michael has a beer in X number of scenes” is not a winning argument to me.  Because when someone says he has a drink in certain scenes, my literal thought is: Yeah, of course.  It’s after work hours.  What’s the big deal?

Then there’s the facts that we are shown his hand causes him pain in two episodes, and that we’re also shown that the aliens use acetone and alcohol in place of pretty much any type of medicine.  To me, it’s an easy leap from there to Michael self-medicating.  Given the extent of his injury and the lack of proper care it received, chronic pain was going to be a given as far as I’m concerned - and we’re also shown and have it verbally acknowledged that his hand has spasms, as well. 2+2 is 4 to me on that one.  He’s not going to get through a day without something to relieve some of the pain.

Now here’s where the unhealthy coping mechanisms come in.  Because while getting drunk to cope with bad things in our lives (or, more accurately, not deal with them for a night) is something indulged in by millions of adults worldwide and probably billions over the centuries, there is a point where it becomes unhealthy.  And, yes, I do think Michael’s use of it reaches that point.

When he’s upset about things, he doesn’t talk about it -  he goes to the Wild Pony and drinks so he has an excuse to start a fight.  When he fights with someone - he drinks.  When he's worried about someone - he drinks.  I don’t think he has an addiction - I think this is all choices.  Most of his drinking, at least what is not social, is after specific, upsetting events.  I see his use of alcohol change during the course of the season.  As these secrets that he’s been holding in are revealed, as he starts to open up to the other characters about past events, as he starts to actually deal with the things he has been using alcohol to cope with, his drinking slows down.

We’re introduced to him in the drunk tank after one of his bar brawls.  He’s at the bar pretty much all day in 01x02 after losing his job and being rejected by Alex.  He’s stealing whole bottles of alcohol from behind Maria’s bar after Alex dumps him and he finds out Liz knows one of them murdered Rosa in 01x04.

But.

We never see him get into a bar brawl or end up in the drunk tank after 01x01.  His drinking socially with the group in 01x09 is clearly not at the same level as his non-stop day drinking in 01x02.  He has one beer with Isobel when they’re speaking in his trailer in 01x10 - one beer is a far cry from the way he was drinking in 01x04.  Then we get whole episodes without him drinking, such as  01x11.

Does he stop drinking altogether?  No.  But, aside from the fact that shitty things are still happening and he’s still self-medicating, that’s where things come back to point one for me.  Drinking is Southwest culture - of course, he goes to the bar after work.  Of course, he cracks open a cold beer after five. That’s pretty much par for the course in day to day life in a small southwestern town.

Michael drinks in 10 episodes, yes.  You know what?

Liz drinks in 9 episodes.

Maria is only in 10 episodes and drinks in 6.

Michael being singled out for being an alcoholic, not by fandom but by canon, would irritate me. The main character went to college and has a white collar job, so she can drink in ¾ of the episodes, including in the middle of the day, and it means nothing. Isobel is rich and privileged so she can literally steal Michael's own acetone infused drink, and have countless bottles of empty acetone lying around her house, but she's good. However, the blue-collar worker with the poor background is an addict because we put a drink in his hand for 10 episodes, even though 7 of them are related to trauma and heartbreak.  Yeah, I pretty much hate it.

The fact that shows always choose the "wrong side of the tracks" character to be the addict reeks of class prejudice to me. It’s a negative stereotype.  They're the “lower class” character, therefore they're an alcoholic.  Like addiction doesn't occur in all social statuses or something.

There are posts out there that literally dismiss Michael’s character as an  “Unemployed Drunk”. Sorry, you can't sell me on the notion that classism isn’t involved in that interpretation of his character.  Not when Liz is unemployed more times than Michael is and drinks almost as much.

So - yes - I would be annoyed by them choosing an addiction story arc for Michael.  Choosing the only “lower social status” character to be the addict when you have a whole cast of other characters to choose from?  I am very against that.  Is it a deal breaker? No, I've put up with far worse things in shows than a single arc I don’t appreciate.  But it is how I feel.

People have a variety of coping mechanisms, unhealthy and healthy.  Michael being able to let go of an unhealthy coping mechanism by learning to open up to others is my preferred version of the plot.  Especially if we get to see him turn to a healthy coping mechanism, like playing music again.  As much as I hate the way his hand was healed against his will, no longer being in pain meaning he no longer needs alcohol or acetone to assist him through the day is also my preference.  And I feel both are capable of being interpreted by canon events just as easily as an addiction.

I do feel the abrupt healing of his hand could lead to an addiction.  He’s used to being in pain, his body is used to having a certain level of acetone/alcohol in it because of the injury.  That suddenly disappearing could really mess up his system. And they could also use it to address that Max healed him without his consent, which would psychologically affect him on top of the physical effects.  But that’s really the only addiction story arc for him that I would truly be fully okay with.

[khiphop-stories]

Getting Off The Wrong Foot

[Christian Yu | Chapter V ]

Previous Chapters: Chapter I | Chapter II | Chapter III | Chapter IV |

Turning your head to the side your eyes rested on him, staring at him silently. The words that left his lips surprised you because it seemed as though he knew you better than you did. He was right, that night you didn’t want to be alone. That’s why you went to your friend’s bar in the first place. You were scared of being by yourself, left alone with those thoughts and feelings that were slowly drowning you. 

“Stop apologizing, it makes me feel bad.” “But you’re mad at me and I don’t wanna argue with you.” “I’m not even mad at you,” you finally admitted and let out a long sigh. No, you weren’t really mad at him, you were mad at yourself and you let it all out on him. Life had been hell on earth for you the past few weeks and no matter how hard you tried, you just couldn’t get it back under control. 

“It’s just easier to blame you than to take responsibility for my actions,” you said in a whisper as you gently shut your eyelids close and leaned your head back.

“What’s wrong with what you did?” 

At first you thought he was mocking you, but as you observed his face closely from the corner of your eyes, he really seemed to be genuinely clueless. “Fucking a stranger?” You let out a chuckle shaking your head. “That might be normal for you, but I don’t usually do one night stands.”

“Well, technically it wasn’t a one night stand,” he remarked playfully, an attempt to make you feel comfortable around him again, to lighten the atmosphere and to your surprise it worked. Seeing that small smile on his lips did calm you down and make you feel at ease.

“You know what I mean.” “What’s so wrong with that?” He glanced at you from the corner of his eyes, as though he was challenging you to come up with a good excuse. “It’s just not like me…at all,” you shrugged your shoulders. “Is that what you think? Or is it what other people make you believe?” “What do you mean?” You sat up straight and turned your whole attention to him, intrigued by his words. “Do you think it was a mistake?” He asked simply. “No.” “Do you regret it?” “No,” you shook your head once again. “Then what’s the big deal?”

“Sex’s supposed to be something meaningful.”

“So you think it’s wrong that you enjoyed sex with someone you don’t love?”

“I think it’s wrong that I had sex with you although I’m in love with someone else.” Admitting it to yourself out loud hurt more than you thought it would. You knew he didn’t deserve it. After everything he had put you through, you weren’t supposed to love him anymore. You weren’t supposed to have any feelings left for him. However, love wasn’t that simple, was it? You were still in love with the person who hurt you the most and because of that you were making bad decisions. “The bastard that broke your heart?” “Yeah,” you nodded your head slowly. It surprised yourself how honest you were around Christian. You didn’t feel the need to hide anything from him. It felt good to talk about it, you held it in for too long already. Usually you would turn to Jay for advice and to pour your heart out, but you couldn’t as he was in a weird position. You didn’t want to force him to be on your side, but that’s exactly what you needed right now. Someone that was on your side, your side only, no matter what, even if you were wrong about it all. 

“Do you want to get back together with him?” Yes, you did. You wanted to forgive him and be that happy couple that you once were again. You wanted for everything to go back to the way it used to be. But you knew better. It was only wishful thinking.

“I can’t trust him anymore. I’d probably doubt everything he says and turn into that obsessive, controlling and jealous girlfriend…and I don’t wanna be that girl.”

“Then what’s wrong with moving on and enjoying sex with someone else?” “It’s just wrong,” you couldn’t explain it, there was just this inner voice inside of your head, screaming that it was wrong.

“Because society says so? Because your friends might judge you?”

You shook your head, but you didn’t know what to say. Was he right? Were you afraid of what other people thought of you? Were you wary of other people’s expectations? “What’s so wrong with doing something you enjoy? Something that makes you feel good? Screw them. Just do it. Just do you.”

“Now I know why Nike chose to work with you,” you joked. “I didn’t intent to quote their slogan,” he chuckled and you could hear a faint trace of embarrassment in his voice. “That’s not what I meant,” you released a smile. “I mean your lifestyle. The way you carry yourself. Your attitude, your mind, your vision. You’re aware of the rumours about you, but you pay them no mind. You’re just doing you.”

“The people I care about know who I am. I don’t need to explain myself to people who think they know me through some rumours.” “Yet you explained yourself to me,” you pointed out, wondering why he even took time out of his day to clear that misunderstanding. You had done nothing but judge him since the moment you had met him. “‘Cause I care about you and I care about what you think of me,” he replied nonchalantly as though it was the most obvious thing on earth. His reply startled you and strangely enough it made your heart skip a beat. You couldn’t help but smile.

“Thanks for driving me home, Christian,” you thanked him when you recognized your neighborhood. 

“You can park here,” you pointed to the free spot nearby the entrance to your apartment building. 

Christian smoothly pulled over and parked the car. You opened your arms and leaned in for a hug, when you suddenly felt his soft lips pressed against yours.

“What the hell Christian?” You quickly pulled bag, your arms still in the air, as you gave him a weird look.

“Sorry, I thought you were going in for a ki—“ “No, definitely not,” you shook your head with a laugh.

“Or maybe I wanted you to,” he added in whisper, a sheepish smile played on his lips. “I’m not gonna do it in a public place again. The elevator incident was embarrassing enough,” you shook your head violently. “But if you want to come upstairs…” you bit down on your bottom lip. “This is an invitation, right? I’m not misinterpreting any signs?” 

~*~

Christian patience was at its end. He held himself back the entire elevator ride, but he couldn’t wait any longer. He didn’t even let you type in the pin code to unlock the door to your apartment. Instead he turned you around with your back against the door as he pressed his body against yours, leaning his forehead against yours. Gently, he pulled your face closer and crashed his lips on your own. You melted in the kiss, it was sweet, yet filled with so much desire. 

You turned around and typed in the pass code while Christian attacked the back of your neck. He left a trail of wet kisses and smoothly slid one of his hands under your t-shirt, pushing you against his hard abs. You were too distracted by him that you pressed the wrong number which made him chuckle. You felt his breath against your neck and you just couldn’t think straight anymore. Your heart began to pound aggressively. You stood there, feeling a desire from your heart, to your chest, down toward your inner thighs. “Stop,” you whispered gently and to your surprise he rested all his motions. “Do you want me to stop?” He asked you concerned. “No,” you shook your head energetically. “I just need you to let me type in the code.” “Sorry,” he gave you an innocent smile.

“Thanks,” you chuckled and typed in the six numbers.

Once you stepped inside your apartment, he yanked you to him and covered your mouth with his in a hungry kiss. You responded immediately, pulling him closer if that was even possible. The bristles of his beard scratched against your soft cheeks as your gripped his head firmly, as if to keep him from escaping. He tasted tentatively with his tongue as he traced it across the bottom of your lip. You opened your mouth with a low moan. The kiss grew bigger and more intense, your hand roamed his body, before you grabbed his t-shirt in your hands, pulling it out of his pants, over his head, then throwing it on the floor. 

~*~

Feeling a gentle nudge on your arm, your eyelids flickered open to the unlit room. You expected the sun to shine by the time you woke up, but it was pitch-black, making you wonder what time of the day it was. It took you a few seconds to adjust to the darkness, then you saw Christian’s silhouette hovering about you. He wore a soft smile on his lips. He was fully dressed from head to toe, he had even put on his jacket. It looked as though he was ready to go out.

“What time is it?” You mumbled half-asleep, your heavy eyelids falling close again.

“Half past five,” he replied in a whisper, almost as though he didn’t want to disturb you any further. Hearing the number five, it was a signal for you to catch some more sleep. You shifted in your position and pulled the blanket over your face. “I have to go, because I have meeting now. I’m not sneaking out,” he informed you, but you had already drifted back to sleep. His voice was merely a distant sound to you. 

“Just go and let me sleep,” you muttered under your breath.

Christian smiled to himself and then you felt his soft lips pressed against your forehead.

“Sweet dreams, babe.”

~*~

A few hours later you were forcefully torn out of your sleep by the jingling sounds of your alarm. You slowly opened your eyes, taking in every ray of light while you reached over your head on the nightstand, trying to feel where your phone was. You turned off the alarm and took a glance at your phone. You had a message from your assistant reminding you of the meeting with Vogue you had at 10 am. One of their editors wanted to meet with you to go over the details for the shoot and interview that would take place next week. It wasn’t your first feature in a magazine, but you still felt nervous about it. The interview was the easy part, you were good with words, but you were a quite worried about the shooting. You were used to stand behind the camera, working behind the scenes and not be in the spotlight. The shooting required you to leave your comfort zone. Right when you were about to drown in your worries, you received another message. “Good luck with Vogue.” The text message was from Christian. A small smile played on your lips, before you knitted your brows together wondering how he even knew. You must have mentioned it briefly in one of your conversation and he must have remembered. You didn’t take him for a good listener, but Christian was always good for a surprise.

Finally an update! Took me long enough haha.  I hope you like this chapter! Feedback is appreciated! I’ve already finishing writing the next chapter. Will post it soon! Hint: Big revelation next chapter! You’ll finally find out who her ex is. Any guesses?